I hope you're not expecting something specific.

May 31, 2005

OK, seriously, as if you guys didn't already know... I have the cutest kid ever. Everrrrrr!!! We have this "game" we like to play. Usually, around bed time, we'll go back and forth with "I love you more than..." Most of the time, we stick to purple or cupcakes or glitter and other goofy girlie things. Well, tonight it went something like this:

Gabi: I love you more than purple
Me: I love you more than blue
Gabi: You like blue?
Me: Oh yeah. It's a good color, no?
Gabi: Yeah it is. I just didn't know you liked it so much. I love you more than Powerpuff Girls
Me: I love you more than the Princess Bride!
Gabi: (look of shock) =0 Really?
Me: Of course I do! I love you more than Pat Benatar
Gabi: (another look of shock) =0 REALLY? I love you more than Kelly Clarkson!
Me: =0 Wow! That's a lot! I love you more than The Amazing Race!
Gabi: I love you more than SURVIVOR! (that's a lot, people)
Me: Whoa. Are you sure?
Gabi: Yep. I love you more than my bathroom (which she really loves. Thanks, Lynne!)
Me: I love you more than bubble baths.
Gabi: Huh? You take bubble baths?
Me: Of course I do!
Gabi: When?
Me: Usually when you're at your dad's or at Nana's. You know, so I can take my time.
Gabi: You know you're just sitting in your own dirt, right?

Hysterical laughter ensues. She was so matter-of-fact about the whole thing in this, "Mom, I'm telling you this for your own good" tone. I have no idea where she gets it from.

May 26, 2005

So we're watching The OC tonight. Well, we're halfway watching and halfway goofing off and such. And they showed last season's finale and then this season's premiere, which, if you ask me is freakin genius since they plan to re-run the entire second season this summer. I had forgotten how gut-wrenching last season's finale was. Dang! And can someone please get Kelly Rowan an Emmy? Seriously. So anyway, we're watching the beginning of the second episode, and that part where Marissa calls Ryan in the middle of the night and she can't bring herself to say anything and you know Ryan knows it's her and they're having this... moment. Gabi breaks the silence with, "Why's she on the phone if she's not gonna talk?" Hehehe That just gave me the giggles and I couldn't stop giggling to explain it to her, not that she'd get it anyway, but then again, she's surprised me before.


And I saw this on my way into the internet: Undercover Officer Shaq Is on Patrol

OK, um a few things here. First, here is a 7'1" very very large black man. Way to blend in. And then we have the fact that he's most likely the best and most famous basketball player in the NBA right about now. And then to make things even more secret, YAHOO REPORTS IT ON THEIR FRONT PAGE! Here's to subtlety, y'all.


OK, I want to answer reader mail because talking back to the screen just isn't as satisfying and then I'm going to go work on my myspace.com page because Jordan got onto me for having a boring page.

Rachel says:

As for TV. Yes it is ok to base ones life around TV...just so long as it is good. The OC finale was so great. The rest of the season kinda sucked. (better than most of what is on tv though). I think we need a new Buffy type show. Yes, that should do it, a cult favorite dramedy that is SMART!!

Woman! Have you not caught onto my lunatic rantings about Veronica Mars? That last sentence describes our pint-size heroine to a tee! They're re-running the entire season this summer starting in mid-June. Do not miss it! You will love it! And people will not stop comparing it to Buffy. I never really watched Buffy, so I can't say for sure, but I know it was good because my friend Emily loved it. And if she loved it, then it can't suck. Right? Anyway, check it out this summer! I really think you'll like it.


Alleged Quiet Man says:

Too much to comment on, other than to say....DAYUM! Book, you have written, mmmmmmmm....

I can't decide if that's ironic or just merely hilarious.


Ota says:

A Walk in the Clouds... aka "Strange things are afoot at the burning vinyard, dude... and also, I know kung-fu."

This made me laugh so hard, I think I sprained my diaphragm. You freakin slay me, man!

I liked the CSI:Regular Flavor finale. Even though they abandoned the whole "Ecklie is the anti-christ" theme halfway through the season, it was a good episode. Apparently, Tarantino is a CSI junkie, and he insisted on working in details like Gil's lip-reading, and the like. He apparently owns a Dukes of Hazzard game, and will brag about it in any medium possible.

I think they're trying to humanize Ecklie a little bit. You know, make him a little less one-dimensional and stuff. And if I had a Dukes of Hazzard game? I'd brag about it too! Hello! I read an interview with QT on tvguide.com and he said he considers Grissom one of the greatest detectives since Sherlock Holmes. Double G is pretty cool, y'all. I gotta admit.


Sevi says:

No TV after Wednesday? What a shame. I will certainly miss the one sentence about any show I actually care to watch. Just think, you'll have plenty of time to watch the White Sox-Rangers series this weekend! Oh, by the way, the best show on TV is nowhere near the end of its season.

Victory is mine...for now. Just my luck, the idjits at NBC will run West Wing at 9pm Sunday against Family Guy, thereby forcing me to tape at least 1 of the only 2 shows on TV consistently worth watching.


Sincerely,
Matt Santos / Peter Griffin '05Campaign HQ


Well, sorry to break it to you, but I think this is NBC's way of letting you down easy for a quiet cancellation after next season. So I'd say enjoy it while you can because it's going to get slaughtered in the ratings, not only by the Simpson's and Cold Case, but also by ABC's Sunday night powerhouse lineup. NBC just gave your favorite show a death sentence. Sorry, love. But on an up-note, looks like WW will be on 8pm (Eastern) and Family Guy will be on at 9pm. Your VCR won't have to lift a single magnetic head. Look! A whole paragraph! =)


Jing says:

whoa after a long blog hiatus i've returned and all i can say is "why didn't we watch the finale together di???" i was freaking out, thank goodness i had my de-fib nearby. yeah, it was that intense. i don't get why chloe was there when jack "died". maybe i still hate chloe. not as much as i hate edgar though. what are they going to do next season? there's no jack. tony and michelle are gone. it better not be the chloe and edgar show featuring curtis.

There is not a chance in hell of that happening!!! As far as I can tell, the only recurring characters that are for sure coming back are Jack and Chloe. There will never be a 24 without Keifer/Jack. The fans would never return for a Jack-less story line. Here's an interview with Robert Cochran, the cocreator. It wraps up some stuff about Season 4 and teases Season 5. Don't worry! It doesn't give anything away that I haven't already! =) Read it, dammit! And.... I don't know why we didn't watch it together. It's a damn shame, I tell you. And I think Chloe was there for Jack's "death" to act sad and to run interference with the coroner's office. That... and we've just GOT to have Chloe know that Jack's alive for next season! Oh, and mad props to Shane aka Special Agent OC Idol or whatever the hell his name is for coining Jack's name next season: BOB (Black Ops Bauer).

i officially have nothing to look forward to as of now. lost has concluded and my tv watching life is over for a few months. oh woe is me!

Lost is in trouble for NOT CLEARING UP A DAMN THING! All we really know is that "The Others" have a boat and want Walt for his freakish mind or whatever. Favorite line: When Locke asked Jack if he'd ever played Operation. But if someone could explain the part that most perplexed me, I'd be most grateful. You know when they were about to blow the hatch and Jack and Kate were talking (just make out already!), and he said to her, "If we survive this thing... if we survive today, we're gonna have a Locke problem." Say whaaaaaaat???

aren't you glad i'm back di? :) of course you aren't because we didn't get to know each other too well before i fell into that really deep hole but i clawed my way back :).

Just because I got a big grin on my face and squealed "JING!" when I saw your comment does not mean that I missed you in the least. ;) Oh, and I do try to read your blog, btw, but I don't see anywhere to leave comments? Are we supposed to keep our smartass comments to ourselves or what? I'm guessing that your absence was attributed to finals and I'd like to say to you and Moonie and our other collegiate friends congratulations on another completed year. May your brain be allowed to turn to complete mush during the next three months.


OK, so that's all I've really got at the moment. Woohoo for three day weekends! And on a final note, I am a total cheeseball....


Congrats Carrie! Posted by Hello


And also? Bo's hotness is directly proportional to amount of conditioner used and inversely proportional to the amount of facial hair. Posted by Hello

May 23, 2005

24!

OK, listen. I just got my face royally rocked, so I'm going to have to write about this season finale before the buzz wears off. If you haven't seen the finale, don't whine to me that I ruined it! K? It has aired in most time zones in its entirety and besides, what are you doing reading blogs if you haven't seen it yet? Anyway!

Where to start....First of all, I was expecting more fighter jets. We had lots of helicopters and gun battles, but only a few shots of fighter jets. Yes, they were really cool shots, but they were at night and seriously, not as cool as Season Three's jet fighter appearances. My only other gripe is that we never really knew why Marwan was so intent on destroying everything and, the paramount 24 question, who he was working for. Yes, we got some vague terrorist bullshit about "our land" and blah blah blah. But was he working for someone higher up? We never really saw him answering to anyone else, but one guy? Behind the whole thing? Seriously? Eh, OK. Maybe it will tie into Season Five! Ooooooooh!

Anyway. How much did I love this?!?! There are no words, my friend. But I'm going to make some anyway. First of all, I was really scared that Tony was going to bite it. He and Michelle really called down the jinx of all jinxes when they said they were getting back together. But man, when Curtis came up behind Naked Mandy and took her sorry terror-ass down. Sha-POW! Oh, and on that note, how awesome is it that Curtis totally survived? Huh? Handsome Black Agent made it! I hope he's back next season. He is FIIIINE! Ahem. And a really good character.

OK, so was it the best season ever? Season Two was previously my favorite, but this one may have surpassed it. First of all, it was Kim and cougar-free. Second, Jack's personal relationship with Audrey, I felt, was kept to a minimum. In fact, most personal relationships were pretty bare minimum with the exception of Tony and Michelle, whose relationship played directly into the plot. I also liked that they found a way to bring back some favorites like President Palmer. Gah, that Logan guy and his "security chief"... I wanted to pop 'em both. And you guys do realize that Naked Mandy is the same girl that blew up the plane in the Season One Premiere, right?

I was a little confused when they blew up the missile at about the 6:20 mark. I was like, what are we going to do for forty minutes? Last season we got about a 30 second wrap up with Jack breaking down in his car right at the end. This time, I was very confused, but very pleased to see one more plot play out. I mean, we couldn't just leave that whole Chinese thing flappin out in the breeze, could we? I think it was done very well and really did have me turned and twisted and shocked and uttering expletives. Sorry, but no other show can do that for me. 24 is the bestest ever!!! I'm so glad it's back for two more seasons. I don't know how they'll top themselves, but I know they somehow will. Now, I read an interview with one of the creators before Season 4 started, and he made it seem like the first three seasons were like a trilogy, as would 4, 5, and 6, if they got renewed for that much. Last week, they got renewed for two more seasons, so it looks like that's a go.

I know I have more thoughts on this, but I think I need to let it all sink in first. I really am blown away by the whole thing and still letting everything sink in. Good thing I have the finale on tape so I can re-watch it!

Just think... after Wednesday, I'll barely have any TV to talk about at all. Sigh!

May 22, 2005

Speaking of which...

OK, I have a couple of stories from the weekend and then I want to talk about tee vee because, you guys? I love TV. I know it's hard to fathom. But it's true! I swear.

First things first. Friday night. Guess where I was! You'll never guess...... What's that you say? The bar? Oh. Looks like you'll guess after all. Erm. Anyway! So it's Game 6. Pa-hoe-nix is up 3 games to 2 against my Mavericks. It is a GREAT game, lots of back and forth, lots of great plays, great shots. So we get into the fourth quarter and we are down to the last minute. It's getting really tense and everyone in the bar (which was really full, btw) is watching as am I, although I was watching through my interlaced fingers for most of it. There is crowd reaction to just about every development in the game. And here comes Steve Nash, barrelling down the court and freakin sinks a smooth 3-pointer to tie the game and there's only about 5 seconds left. Ball is in play..... down to the wire..... into Mavericks territory.......3 seconds left...... and then......


Darkness.


There is a millisecond of silence while we all figure out what's going on and then about 250 people.....


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I have never seen the power go out at a more inopportune time. There were a lot of cuss words uttered into the pitch black darkness. But luckily, the power was only out for about 30 seconds and when it came back on, the clock was at 2.7 seconds and we were still tied. WHEW! And about a minute after that massive human noise was the most complete silence I have ever heard in that bar. Mavs finally got the ball into their end of the court and someone puts up a three pointer. Everything stops. Silence...... And then..... AW DAMMIT OVERTIME! And then, of course, we went on to lose the durn thing. Poo. We, as Mavericks fans knew it would happen, we just didn't know when. But now we're rooting for the Suns because we still love Steve Nash and he does not play for a team in California or the Spurs. Woo! Go Suns!

Oh, there was that other time when the power went out at a most inopportune time. Back in the day, I had some friends who worked at the movie theater (give a shout out and a what what to the homies that hooked a sistah up with some movies!), and we went to see that Walk to Remember in the Clouds with the Sun or whatever that movie was with Keanu Reeves and it was like.... four hours long and was about the girl (natch) and the winery and the gruff dad and the floppy wings that help prevent forest fires or something like that. So anyway, right when the girl decides that she doesn't care what her father thinks and she's going to TELL HIM that she loves Ted and there is nothing he can say about it! She literally turns to walk across the courtyard and her mouth parts to say the words and BAM! Power goes out on the entire block. And stays off. Part of me really wanted to see how that conversation went, and another part of me was like, dang I needed to pee anyway. So everyone that paid to see the movie got vouchers to come back the next night, but of course, we could just go because I had the mad fresh hookup. So we go back the next night and I'm thinking.... we saw most of the movie and we're going to have to sit through an hour and a half just to see the last 30 minutes. But oh no. Apparently, I was sadly mistaken and that scene was only about halfway through the movie. And now that I've looked it up on imdb.com, I see that it's only 102 minutes long, which surprises me because it felt more like FIVE HOURS. Seriously, I couldn't believe how much went on after that pivotal moment. Anyway. I guess that goes to show how quickly the story developed and how incredibly interested I was in it. Why am I talking about a stupid movie that I don't even like?

Anyway. So last night, I went to a surprise party for my friend Robby who is married to my friend Melinda. It was a really great "grown-up" party with their parents and siblings and children and freakin food and wine and it was good fun. Afterwards, Jordan, Em, and I went out for some adult time because, yes I love kids, but sometimes other people's children make me kind of want to stab myself in the eye. So we went out to the bar and man, you guys are not going to believe this: I got hit on like four times. I guess it makes a difference when you're hanging out with two attractive women as opposed to about 6 men. I'm not saying those four guys were exactly the most savory, but it still seemed odd. Baugy came over and talked to us for a minute and I was all, "Am I especially hot tonight? Because man, the guys are hittin on me." And he said yes. Now there is a man who knows when to lie. Good man, that Baugy. I mean, the guys were checking out Em and Jordan all over the place, but I think because I was sitting on the end, and there was a space to order drinks right next to me, there was just more traffic. One of them did not have sleeves. That, my friends, is not right. Oh, and did I mention that I barely had a voice? Hm, maybe that also had something to do with it. Brad thinks that the lack of sheer volume attracts the men. That was mean, but he was forgiven when he magically appeared when no-sleeves came back to mack on Jordan. And it worked! So yay Brad for being observant! Oh, and my voice isn't quite back yet and it is torture. But on the good side, Jordan did tell me how to say "I gotta take a tinkle" in sign language. That could definitely come in handy someday. Seriously! Shouldn't you know how to say that in as many languages as possible? I think so. Erm. I have no idea where this story was going....

TV! Yay!

For the sake of space and time, I'll only go over shows that have already ended or seriously, we'll be here all night.

Survivor: Man, what a great season! It was twisty and turny with only a flash of gender issues in the form of a failed female alliance. Mark Burnett kept saying that it was the best season of Survivor yet, and I happily concur. It really was good all the way through and I think got back to what Survivor is all about. Except for the suffering. There wasn't all that much suffering like there was in Borneo, Australia, and Africa. I'm not saying I want to sit and watch people suffer on TV, but it just seems like they have it so easy compared to the first three seasons. I mean, the cast in those three seasons were just emaciated by the end and this season, everyone looked about the same as in the beginning. Except for Ian. Whew. Eat something! Anyway. When Ian jumped off that pole, I couldn't believe my eyes. He just gave it up like that. And I knew Tom would take Katie to the final two because that was his surefire way to win. I guess Ian was just honoring his alliance with Tom. I think they knew from the beginning that Katie would be their patsy because they decided long ago that one of them would take Katie and they would not take each other. See what I'm saying here? Great ending to a great season. Next season? Guatemala. Woot!

Veronica Mars: Hot damn with a shot of WTF! There was a lot of "Whoa! Didn't see that one coming" throughout that entire hour. I guess we should've put the pieces of that puzzle together earlier. We knew Lilly was kind of a slut and we knew Aaron Echolls was kind of a psycho, but we did not fathom that they were sleeping together seeing as she was quasi-dating-but-not-really-any-more his SON! Ew, creep factor. And I also found it interesting that Jake and Celeste really did believe that Duncan killed her and all of this cover up was to protect him. Dang. But what I felt was unresolved was why Lianne left and why Wiedman gave a rat's ass about her whereabouts in the first place. But that fight scene between Keith and Aaron was awesome and scary and suspenseful. Now we are left to wonder if Logan is dead or incredibly impaired by Weevil and who is at Veronica's door. Thank goodness UPN renewed it. But it will be on Wednesdays next season. Up against LOST of all things! Wow! Genius move there! But at least my Tuesdays will be slightly less muddled. Whew!

Amazing Race: I wanted Rob and Amber to win. I really did. But get this... I'm so glad they didn't. There would be such an uproar about cheating and what terrible people they are and boycotting TAR. Whatever, dudes. It's a race. It's a game. They never cheated. Now, about that plane coming back up and opening the doors for Uchenna and Joyce? Not sure about that. But, I'm glad they won. They are good people and they earned it. Thank goodness for a great season after Season Six's debacle. We needed the good guys to win again! I loved it. Next season: teams of four. I'm not sure how they'll pull that off, but it will certainly be interesting. Oh, and it will be in the same time slot as this season. Now I can record the Office! Woot!

CSI: OK, I just watched this one today and can I just say that Quentin Tarantino is fucked in the brain? I mean, I almost didn't watch it because of the claustrophobia quotient. That is one of the most terrifying situations I can think of. Disturbing. And then the ANTS!!! But other than being totally creeped out (which, I'm sure was the whole point anyway), it was really a great show and I'm glad that QT can get on board with a TV show like this and not be a movie elitist. One thing I can say about QT is that he does stuff that he likes regardless of what the buzz will be or what will be said afterwards. He's a cool guy. He's a very whacked out cool guy, at that. Oh, and did you catch him in the Muppets Wizard of Oz? That was awesome. Don't look at me like that! I love Muppets! And so do you! Just remember.... a Muppet Yoda was.

Desperate Housewives: Well, a lot happened but somehow I still feel unsatisfied. As soon as it was over, I turned to Sally and said.... "So why did she kill herself?" I mean, I realize it was to protect her "secrets" but the timing was strange to me. Sally suggested that it was because Mike moved in across the street. But no, they didn't know Mike was connected to Deirdre. OK, so Mrs. Huber was blackmailing her, but we knew that months ago. I'm glad we figured out what really happened, though and it seemed poignant when Mike was shocked to find out that Deirdre had a baby. I hope it's not his because... I don't know. I just think that would be dumb for Zach to be Mike's son what with the mental disturbances and all. It just seemed sort of anticlimactic, I guess. But hey, it was still good. Next season, Carlos will be in jail, Lynette will be at work, and Bree will be a widow. Man, how heartbreaking was that scene when Bree broke down? Awful. Kudos to Marcia Cross. She is the star of this show to me. Also, nice quiet cliffhanger at the end. Creeeeeeepy!

OK, up this week: 24 on Monday, Idol on Tuesday, Idol and Lost on Wednesday (bastards) and I think that's it. Everything else has wrapped up, I think. Here we go, headlong into a summer of reruns. Sigh. At least they're re-running the entire season of Veronica Mars. So here is your chance to get in on the VM-goodness!

Speaking of summer.... THE OC! How could I have forgotten? For a less than stellar season (nothing compared to the first, IMNHO), that was a pretty damn good finale. Made me cry. Over the stupid OC! Like, three times! First with Kirsten's intervention when she was all angry-like and then she turned around and saw Seth there and she just lost it. Man, that was somethin else. And then when Marissa finally broke down to Summer about stupidass Trey. That was not only a heartbreaking scene, but afterwards, I realized something: Mischa Barton actually acted! I actually believed it! And at the end when she had to shoot Trey to save Ryan. Holy mackerel. I wonder if she's going to jail or if it can be construed self-defense when he wasn't actually attacking her. Guess we'll find out.... NEXT SEASON! Same time slot, up against Survivor and Alias. Whew.

Speaking of Summer... again... It was 99 degrees today. And yesterday. I guess uh... Summer's here. WITH A VENGEANCE! I shouldn't really be surprised. I mean, we had our three weeks of Spring (with surprisingly little violent storm action). OK, back to TV.

I guess Thursday night is back for everyone except NBC, who doesn't seem to get that their ratings sucked on Thursdays this season FOR A REASON! Joey is mediocre, Will and Grace jumped the shark about 4 years ago, the Apprentice is getting tired, and ER is like freakin Methuselah in TV years. Let it DIE! Speaking of which... The West Wing got moved to Sunday nights so Sevi can watch it a little more regularly. But he will now get another dose of the Presidency with that new Geena Davis show Commander-in-Chief. You like Geena Davis, right? She was in Beetlejuice for cryin out loud! You have to like her! What else about next season... Oh! They moved Arrested Development to Monday night so that I can actually watch it now! And it better be as funny as everyone says it is or I'm gonna start writing some letters. And also? Don't be worried that you don't see Scrubs on the Fall Schedule. They'll be back mid-season for some godforsaken reason. They're probably anticipating something getting cancelled and using it to regain viewership. Which... I'm not sure where they'll put it because Tuesday looks good with that new Jason Lee thing about Earl-something (I love Jason Lee!) and The Office and you guys just KNOW they won't ever cancel Will and Grace until someone in the cast actually dies of old age. I think I'll actually go buy the Scrubs DVD to keep me sane until it comes back.

OK, my scroll bar is getting really really tiny, so I guess I'll wrap it up now. I have to go watch Grey's Anatomy anyway, which is also back next season, FYI. OK! Hope to hear from you all! Yes, even you! =)

May 20, 2005

YOU'RE ALL PSYCHO!

By popular demand....

http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder.html

Make sure to come back and tell us all how whacked out you are!!! =)

May 18, 2005

It's me again! Lucky you!

Hey you guys! Remember me? I've been a lost soul for the past couple of weeks or so. Or lazy. Whatev. Anyway, I really don't have anything to say which can sometimes beget the deepest and most profound posts. Ah, who am I kidding? I never say anything profound.

Well, I found out that I'm not crazy. No really, it's true. I took a test on the internet and everyone knows that if the internet speaketh, then it must be true. At the end of the test, it lists all of these personality disorders and I came in UNDER THE AVERAGE on all the categories! Except for one... narcissism. That's right. I came in one point over the average (on a 100 point scale) in narcissism. And I read the description of a narcissist and I guess I can see how this could happen. I mean, I'm a pretty empathetic person, but I refuse to feel sorry for everyone. I guess I'm too busy busting my ass for my daughter and myself to really feel sorry for people who don't make a better life for themselves. Eh, that's just me. I'm not talking about people who fall on hard times. I'm talking about people who are LAZY and then expect me to pick up their slack. As the address to this site may imply, I might have some issues.

I'm also having issues with the left side of my ear/nose/throat region. And it BETTER be gone by the weekend! There is shopping to be done, dammit! I also have a party to go to and if I miss it I am dead meat and I know it. And this party I speak of... it's for a man. Should I bother to bring a card? I mean, I don't really think he'll get all pouty if he doesn't get a card from me. Hell, I don't think he notices when he DOES get a card, much less when he doesn't. Anyway. He's a huge Star Wars nerd, so maybe I'll get him a figurine or something. Thirty year old men love that stuff. Right?

On a completely different note, I had a lovely grocery store experience the other night. As I was shopping, I started to notice that my regular store was rearranged here and there. And then I found it. And entire aisle of WINE! I had a quick flashback of signing a petition and then voting in a special election and now it's HERE! Can you believe that? They weren't allowed to sell alcohol until the citizens had an uprising. I mean, all I had to do before was go across the street to purchase wine because that's another city. But I would have to make a special trip. Now when I'm getting groceries, I can just pick up some wine! I have found that a glass before bed really helps me sleep better. I am so serious. I have not felt this not-tired in weeks. And I'm not going to sleep any earlier, really (AARON!!!). I guess I just fall asleep faster and sleep deeper. Ah, I love you, Merlot. You give me weird dreams, but better sleep.

Speaking of which, I'm about done with tonight's glass. Don't worry, Sevi. I'll have a great season finale wrap up of all of our favorite shows soon. I'm sure you're just downright antsy with anticipation! =) OK, I'm not going to start talking about TV right now because I'll be here all night. But for now, hugs, kisses, gropes, whatever strikes your fancy. Love!

May 07, 2005

Face? Rocked!

Bowling for Soup is most likely my very favorite band in the entire world. Not only did we originate from the same home town (which we all thankfully got the fuck out of), we also spent a good amount of our formative early and mid 20's in the same town (that would be Denton, TX). Now most people probably know them from their radio singles such as Girl All the Bad Guys Want and 1985. Those are their radio-friendly happy pop hits. They also do such gems as Ohio and Belgium. Very geographically minded lads, they are. And in the non-geography category, The Bitch Song and Suckerpunch. Listen. Any band can have catchy songs and put them on a CD and sell them blah blah blah. But BFS does the best freakin live shows ever. I DEFY YOU to leave their concert in a bad mood. It will not happen. They are fun times 7 billion and 4. Jaret is the man and I might have a weird crush on him even though he is very happily married and could possibly live like, four blocks from me.

As the perceptive among you may have guessed, I just got back from their concert at the historic Granada Theater on Greenville Avenue. I hate Greenville. HATE! There is seriously never anywhere to park even if you're willing to pay $80 plus tip. Before tonight, I had not been to Greenville probably since I was freshly 21. I don't remember drinking there, so I might've been 20. Anyway. Long time. For good reason. But for my boys? I'll sacrifice.

So we head out there. This is for those of you in Dallas: We get on LBJ and mix it up with the High Five and all and we're merging with LBJ westbound and we get down to Central and it's like... where's the rest of it? All of the traffic on Central was from LBJ. Yeah, no through traffic. ??? I kept looking for the rest of southbound Central traffic and it was like... not there. I was so weirded out. This is like the busiest interchange in all of the Dallas area and.... nothing. And in the dumbest move ever, we all had to merge into one lane before merging onto a very empty expressway. Yeah... confused.

Uh... anyway. We get down to Greenville and there is the most retarded traffic ever. Nowhere to park and we just end up driving around the residential areas thinking about how much we do not want to get accosted at 2 am. We go back to the main drag and I'm like, "Let's just find some overpriced lot or valet or something. I'll pay for it, I don't care, it's worth it not to get shot." We start to pull into what looks like a valet station near the Granada and the guy is all, this is for [insert stupid bar name here], and gave us directions to the Granada parking lot. We get there and it's closed. But wait! Someone's leaving! There is ONE PARKING SPOT! The parking attendant gives us the best come-hither look in the freakin world and we pull in and pay our eight bucks and park like... right behind the place. Unheard of for Greenville at 9:45 on a Friday night. At this point... the blood pressure is less for stress and more for ecstatic. We park, we walk around the front where two people try to sell us tickets. Jessica is all... no, we have tickets. Which was a lie because Annique is the coolest girl like... EVER and put us on the VIP list!!

!!!!!!!!!!!

We get to the ticket counter, the girl checks for Jessica's name and whips out these freakin badass VIP bracelets and tells us the rules blah blah blah no smoking, re-entry is fine, yadda yadda. We go in and it's literally an old huge two-level theater and American Hi-Fi is playing and we go all the way to the top level. Freakin sweet view and a bar with no line. We get up to the bar so I can get a beer (Jessica was driving) and this cute boy is also ordering a beer. He drops a couple dollars and Jessica picks it up and hands it to him. He says, "Thanks! Hey... don't I know you?" They have that weird moment where you try to figure out how you know someone and then it just clicked for both of them. He turns around and points and there's a whole group of people we know standing one section over. Suh-WEET! So we go over and yap for a while and then Annique wanders up there and it's a whole big party and we rock out. Then Annique explains just why these VIP bracelets are so damn fresh. We get to hang out in the VIP area. Behind a rope! !!!!! With guys from the Riddlin Kids and parents and wives of BFS. Dude. DUDE! We were standing right behind Jaret's dad. Seriously. It wasn't crowded or hot and we had a badass view because it was on the first balcony. We had a great view of the crowd and, the most important part, the band. WOO!

I just cannot tell you how much fun I had. Freakin A. I had to reminisce about the first time I saw them. It had to be in like, 1996 or something. At Rick's in Denton. I practically had to be dragged since I'd never heard of them and I just assumed that if I hadn't heard of them, then they must be speed metal and I would immediately hate them. I get inside and we get up to the balcony and Jaret... with his blond soccer-boy hair... is singing Living on a Prayer and I was immediately in love. Thus began my so-far 9 year crush. Any man who can make Living on a Prayer sound good WHO IS NOT JON BON JOVI HIMSELF is a freaking god in my book. Seriously, y'all. Of course, now he is tattooed and has tri-color hair that is completely beyond any sort of description. Still hot if you ask me and I know you didn't. Don't care.

I always have the best time at their shows. I will be on a high for at least a week. And let me tell you, I needed this very badly. Especially after my Dad told me I needed to put new tires on my car. $350!!! I'm like.. uh, can you give me a little more warning instead of waiting until I'm driving a large metal death trap around town? He's all, "Haven't you been budgeting for this inevitability?" I'm all... "Uh....NO!!!" Sigh. I mean, tires and other things. I've also been beat down by other things that, for once, I will not go into. Just know that Bowling for Soup healed my cold dark soul and turned it into a lovely flowering plant with cute little blooms on the tips.

Oh, and for their last song, they did 1985 and had American Hi-Fi and the Riddlin Kids come up there and do it with them. That's right. Three bands. One song. And it was awesome. Sound chaotic? It was a lot better than you think it might've been. Very cool. So dope.

Anyway, mad props to Annique for the VIP hookup. I hope she knows how much this meant to me, and probably Jessica too. We BOTH needed this so badly.

Wickety whack! Thank you, Night Ranger!

May 05, 2005

Tips for the day...

Do not leave five year olds unattended with baby powder.

When making a grilled cheese sandwich, sprinkle a little chili powder or garlic bread sprinkle in the butter. Yum!

You should not ask someone to "hold on a sec" when they have just walked through the door and you are ON THE PHONE! For heavens sakes.


And while I'm at it, a helpful guide for giving directions:

First, give the address. It is mean to assume that your charge is too stupid to find it if your directions are bunk, which... if you're not me, they probably are. Also? Mapquest lies. It's good for basic location, but do your homework. That thing does not get updated daily, mk?

Now, give all major highways using North South East and West. If you don't "do" directionals, get a compass because you don't "hang a right" on I-35. You go North or South! The signs on major highways always utilize NSEW. And if your charge is unfamiliar with the area, make sure to clue them in on whacky tics in the route i.e. "Stay in the middle lane because the left lane ends and the right lane turns into exit only."

Exit strategy: First give the name of the exit they should take. You do this first because it gets it ingrained in their heads without any distractions. Second, give them the exit that is directly before the one they should take. This is a bad time to bring up landmarks i.e. "Look for the Hooters on your right." This is distracting to your charge and they should be watching for road signs and not headlights, ya feel me?

Advise your charge on what to do next. Left at the light? Straight at the light and take your first right? Keep it simple. The more details you give, the more opportunity your charge has to get confused in an unfamiliar area. "Did they say go past the gas station or turn right before it? Was I supposed to look for a Sonic?" Only utilize landmarks if completely necessary i.e. "Look for the two pines in the middle of the road hence the name Two Pines Lane" (an actual street in my county with two actual trees in the middle of the actual road). Keep the details minimal. Most people assume that the more details the better, but they are wrong because I am a genius.

When you get down to the residential street level, utilize the "previously" strategy from the above exit paragraph. Advise your charge which street they will turn on FIRST and then advise which street is directly before it. That way they're not rolling along at 10 miles an hour anticipating a turn. This way, they can coast along at the posted speed and know when to slow down when they see the "previous" street. It can also be good to advise how many lights and/or stop signs they will need to go through. But if you don't know, don't guess. Just say "a couple" or "a few." Also, do not fashion a guess on how far it is unless you know for damn sure. Because I have been told "half a mile" when it was more like four miles. Just say you don't know!

Now that you've gotten them to your street, NOW you can utilize landmarks. Look for the lamppost or the cow mailbox or the Beretta in the driveway. Also telling them where to park is nice.

Also, when taking down directions, write the address at the top. You will see it more often and it will stick with you. Put each direction on a seperate line. Nothing is worse than directions in paragraph form. Ick! I also like to circle "L" and "R" at the beginning of the line so that they're easy to distinguish from the road names.

Man, I meant for that to be like, five lines and I just went off, eh? Well, I just had to spread my knowledge of direction-giving because I fear there is a shortage of good direction-givers in the world. I'm good at it and I know I'm good at it because there are a lot of people who consistently call me for directions. Sometimes, you just have to go with what you're good at. Which is why I am not an accountant.

Good day! And may all of your journeys be incident-free!

PS Upon review, I sound really conceited! =)

May 03, 2005

I should just rename this blog "what Di thinks about TV" because that's all I can seem to talk about lately. My personal life is just so boring right now. Well, that's kind of a lie but I don't feel like talking about that particular debacle right now, but maybe later, hm? TV makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Unless it's tonight's Veronica Mars which was awesome, yet oogy! I mean, yes we got a lot of answers but one of those answers was the oogiest oog that ever ooged. Wait. But if you add in Logan's little webcam fetish, that's two oogy discoveries. What a bad bad boy! I mean, he seemed really genuine what with the showing up at her door and owning up to what happened at Shelley's party. I mean, did he really not expect her to find the cameras. WTF? Anyway, I think it's pretty crappy that everyone seemed to know that Veronica and Duncan were half-siblings except for Veronica, and apparently Keith. I mean, we just got pummeled with revelation after revelation. Can you imagine what NEXT WEEK is going to be like? I'll need to drink a lot of fluids, I think. The awesomeness could be draining. My brain is still swimming.

Amazing Race: I'm glad Rob and Ambuh are in first. Don't act like they don't deserve it or they cheated, because they didn't. Just because they have a knack for finding local tour guides and playing devilishly smart doesn't mean they don't deserve it. I really don't care if they already won a million dollars on Survivor. Too bad we didn't get income stats on all of the other teams, hm? If they hadn't already been on Survivor, you would love them and you would be rooting for them all the way. That being said, I love Uchenna and Joyce. I think I already said that in the last post, but it's SO TRUE! Oh, and does anyone know what that song is that every TV show has to play every time they show London? Maybe it's the song they play for the Queen or something? I don't know, but I thought TAR editors were more clever than that. Maybe they're so clever that I don't see their cleverness. Eh. Anyway. Next week is the finale (on the same night AND TIME as Veronica Mars... oh the anguish!) and it looks like they are all getting hella bunched anyway so their arrival times tonight are probably moot. Remember, one more non-elimination leg (boooo!) and then Rob and Ambuh can win. Hee! Fun fact for the evening: Did you know that Istanbul is the only major city that spans two continents? Well, I knew, but did you?

American Idol: Oh man. Where to begin. I took so many notes tonight because I am a giant nerd. In a month from now after this is all over, I'm going to go back and read those notes and think "Gah, what a dork!" So now you can get a jump on "In-A-Month" Me! I'm so helpful!

Anyway, this is the part where the contestants get two songs each because there's an hour to fill and it can't be all product placement or the kids will start to catch on that they're just whores for Coca-Cola and Ford. So the two categories they could choose from were 1) some song-writing duo that wrote Stand By Me and a bunch of Elvis songs 2) this week's top 40 from any chart. OK, last week was the last five years, this week is well.... this week. Maybe next week, they can do songs from 2 years from now. Awesome! I bet Ford has that time machine ready to go!

A-Fed: First song was Poison Ivy, which I'll admit is not a song I recognized. Now this is important for later: I did not recognize the song and I did not pay attention to him as he sang it. He's nice looking enough, but I'm just bored with him. His second song was "Incomplete" which is a song that I sort of recognized, but I didn't know where from. He was doing a well enough job with it, so I actually sat still and watched (which is rare, which is why I watch TV instead of movies, FYI). As I tried to place the song in my head, I noticed that our little A-Fed is like a Nick Carter 2.0 but with not as much talent. Not even Aaron Carter. Nick 2.0. Seriously. Look!


Did you think I was lying? Posted by Hello

So anyway. It wasn't until after the song was over that we were told that it was a Backstreet Boys song. Yeesh. Backstreet's back, alright? And there's not a damn thing any of us can do about it. I used to be a 13 year old girl at one time and I would like to take this time to seriously apologize for any hysteria over New Kids on the Block that I may have caused.

Scott: First song was Boardwalk and second song was Every Time something or other. Well, I will tell you that I'm not a Scott fan. He is a good singer, but I don't think he should win. Can you imagine an entire CD from this guy? I'm falling asleep just thinking about it. And media-savvy he is not. I know this is a singing contest but.... do I need to bring up Ruben/Clay again? Ruben: not media-savvy. Clay: media-savvy. And Clay has enjoyed much more success than Ruben. Ruben? Life on a Stick. Clay? Scrubs. 'Nuff said about that. Anyway! That Every Time song was wicked hard and it seemed for a moment that Scott actually came alive. And all because Simon told him to pack his bags. Here's hoping for a Guarini-type backlash. Come on, Scott! Keep it up with your backtalk!

Vonzell: Oh Baby V. My darling. Tonight was not your best night. And choosing the #1 song on the charts that happens to be BY THE AMERICAN IDOL TOP TEN was slightly a cop-out, even if you nailed it. But you looked gorgeous and you're still amazing and I hope you get to stick around another week, although I'll admit that I'm a little scared. After all, you look nothing like any of the Backstreet Boys and you haven't thrown any communication devices at anyone lately, so.....

Bo: Stand By Me. He did his Bo thing and .... is that a cross tattooed on his chest? What the... Are you too lazy to wear a crucifix every day? I'm baffled. And I'm glad he can grow a full beard, but that doesn't mean he has to. I don't want him to win because I'm pretty sure he can be a success without this show and I hope Paula gets a smack on the wrist every time she says that on national television. I'm allowed to say it because the show's credibility isn't keeping my bank account very much in the black. Anyhoo.... Second song was that Los Lonely Boys song about Heaven and what the hell was he wearing? Did he raid the "gypsies" portion of Cher's closet or what? Guess they were all out of tramps and theives. I will contend that that is not an easy song to sing, so bravo, Bogart.

Carrie: OK, listen. I will admit that I was starting to get a little bored with our Down Home Sweetheart. She is always flawless (except for that Love is a Battlefield debacle that I refuse to forgive her for... Nikki McKibben is still paying three years later for Heartbreaker), but tonight she blew me away. Seriously. First with Trouble, apparently by Elvis. I did not recognize this song, but I was GLUED! Remember what I said about A-Fed and how it was important? This is the huge gap between Carrie and like, everyone else. She can keep my attention even if I don't know the song and I think that's really important because when she starts putting out records, you know... I'm not going to know those songs either. Anyway, she totally rocked my face with her "I'm evil" chorus because she's so.... not! I was very impressed and after the first song was when I decided that this was the first week in about a month that I would vote for Vonzell and someone else. It was that good. Motivating! And for her second song, she did a song that I am sure will become one of my favorites of all time. Bless the Broken Road by Rascall Flatts. Knowing the original version, I thought Carrie kinda blew it and missed a lot of notes (for her, anyway), but she still did a great job! What is it with this girl? And whatever judge said that it was a simple song was dead wrong. That is a hard song to sing! I love Vonzell to pieces, and I will totally cry when she gets second place, but I think Carrie's going to take the whole thing. She's just so.... awesome.

And one last thing about American Idol... how much does the band freakin rock this year? Seriously, I am so impressed with them! VERY cool and I hope they are getting paid bookoo bucks for being so awesome.

Commercials: Yes, like a true TV fiend, I wrote down some notes on the stupid commercials. So sue me! During the first break, I think, there was this commercial showing a girl getting dumped, and then buying a new shirt. Then she loses her job or something, and she buys a new dress. And so on... something bad happens and then a shopping trip. I was like.... who got ahold of my life and why is there a commercial about it? But it was about cotton. The tag line was "The healing power of cotton." Healing power of shopping, guys. SHOPPING! It really does miracles, I swear.

And then there was that Sonic commercial. Now, I dig these Sonic spots with the smartasses eating and making jokes or whatever. Bravo on a successful ad campaign. But that's not what caught my attention. Blackened sauce? Does that sound kinda.... gross to anyone else? I mean... it's black. I can sort of understand actually blackening the chicken breast, but to put sauce on it to make it taste blackened? Yick! If any one has had this sandwich and think it to be da bomb, please feel free to put me in my place but that just sounds..... bleuch.

OK, so that's my assessment. In quick TV news, Veronica Mars got picked up for a second season (thank you "Quiet Man Who Is Anything But" for pointing that out to me) so WOOHOO! Also, Lost is new tomorrow FINALLY so let us all rejoice in that. Seems like eons, no? All of these badass shows wrapping up all at the same time is going to give me the vapors. Oh, and a "two hour event" for the OC on Thursday thanks to the news conference that turned out to be more conference than actual news. Prime freakin time.

I didn't even weigh in on 24. I think Audrey's going to break up with Jack. What do you guys think? I mean, she was going to do it before Paulie died, but now I think she's really got her heart set on it. And China? Going to get all prickly with us for "invading" their consulate. Geez, get over yourselves, China! We just kidnapped one guy! We'll give him back! Sheesh. You know... if he lives. Ahem. So uh, next week looks good. Yay! That is all. And uh... Jack thinks....


You are powerless to resist! Posted by Hello

 

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