Yes, I am alive!

I got a "tsk tsk" email from Stewy today. Guess that means I better do something relatively productive with my evening, hm? I have a feeling no one wants to endure the Wrath of the Stew. So let's get down to it... Where was I?

Oh yes, I decided to like Christmas this year. That worked out relatively well. Let's go back, shall we? So I went to my parents' for Christmas Day. I drove in the snow and all of you Yanks up there are just ho-ho-ho-ing to yourselves at how that's NOTHING! Well, it's nothing to you guys who have snow tires and have to deal with it more than once a year. Us? It sucks. It usually doesn't even snow here until February and then a week later, it's Spring. But this time, we got the frozen precip 2 days before Christmas (it was all gone by Christmas Day). For those that don't know, the drive between my place and my parents' is filled with a whole lot of nothing. And this is Texas, so when I say nothing, I mean flat. Really flat. So the wind is atrocious. I was really OK until we got past the last "real" city before Wichita Falls (where the 'rents live). There's about 70 miles between said last city and the big WF. So we've got wind blowing who knows how fast blockaded by a whole lot of nothing, and snow. So the snow hits the pavement and temporarily melts since it was 60 degrees just a couple days before. A few cars drive over it, spread it around and then the wind gets ahold of it again and you got yourself some black ice. Now, MY SIDE (northbound) probably had the most well-behaved drivers I've ever seen. Single file, all in the right lane, equally spaced, no passing, 30 mph. Southbound...not so much. The road was literally littered with cars in the ditch and on the median. And then, as I go along, I start to notice....there are no cars in the SB lanes. It's totally empty. Hm, that's strange. We come over a hill...jack-knifed 18-wheeler and about 8 other cars. Yeah, that's unnerving. That's about the time that I wanted to bail. I couldn't turn around and go back because I was surely more than halfway through the storm. I couldn't speed up because well...I didn't want to get stuck out there and DIE! I just wanted a helicopter to come along with a fancy magnet, pick up my pretty purple car and just deliver us to my parents' house. It was a nice fantasy complete with a really hot pilot. And then the co-parent calls: "I just wanted to see where you guys were. Are you OK?" Now, I have to answer or he'll freak out (I had the bambina with me, otherwise, he probably would not have cared). Hm, maybe I shouldn't have answered and he could've sent a helicopter......anyway! So naturally, I'm like "Hello! Navigating life and death situation here! Call ya back, K?" And that got my frustrations aimed somewhere besides the road and I was relatively calm for a little while longer and then...lo and behold! Sun! The clouds are dissipating! Aaaah sigh of relief. So we got there fine, if not a little late.

So my brother came in the next day. From Hawaii. Oh, and my parents? Going back with him the day after Christmas. Was I invited? No. So please know that this paragraph is written with some bitterness and jealousy. I was there for three days. Three days of "Oh, I should wear this to Hawaii" and "Oh, here I got you something to use in Hawaii" and "Here's something else we can do in Hawaii." OK, you guys go on to your tropical paradise, I'll stay here and freeze my ass off. Thanks for rubbing it in. Hmph. They just got back last night. My mom calls me this morning and is all "Oooh I'm so tiiiiiired from Hawaaaaaiii!" I'm all yeah whatever. I have not been on a real, get on an airplane, leave the state for more than a weekend vacation in over TEN YEARS! I love Texas, but I'm getting cabin fever, if that's even possible with all this wide open space (and apparently, it is). Do I have to work for it and earn it? Yes. Is working for it getting old? YES! I know it sounds childish and bratty, but it's my blog and I'll pout if I want to.

OK, happier times! Then we had Christmas with the co-parents' family whom I loooooooove! It is so huge and I meet someone new and interesting every time. This year I met one of his cousins whom I had never met before (that I remember) on his dad's side. I mean, she was cool, but her husband is from Scotland and was just the nicest person in the world. I was obviously an outsider at this Christmas get-together what with all the photo albums coming out, and the vegan lesbians talking about "legal" beans. Normally, I just watch Gabi and make sure she's doing OK, but she was playing with Mr. Scotland's son so...I was just hanging out by the chips and salsa (homemade and positively dreamy). He made a point to make sure my glass was full and sat there and just talked to me about how he met his wife (co-parent's cousin) and how he came to move to America and then Dallas and he was just so interesting and well....NICE! I kinda wanted to marry him myself, but he was a little too old for me and, you know, already married. So all in all, a peaceful Christmas which has been a rarity the past few years. Sigh of relief! Whew!

New Years: I spent New Years at a house that belongs to my friend Melinda's sister. Melinda housesits when her sister and her family goes off on these lovely vacations and then all of us go over and pretend that it's our house. It's actually quite fun! So it was Mel, Em, Jordan, me and Melinda's hapless husband Robby. One man among four women. "All I want is to watch ONE BOWL GAME" was uttered more than once. So we played cards and drank our wine and very nearly almost missed midnight. We were between hands and someone looked up and said..."Hey, what time is it?" I check my phone..."Oh hey, it's 11:58." And then a discussion ensued about which clock was REALLY right since that one over there said 11:05, which really meant 12:05 but Robby's watch says it's 11:54, but Emily's phone said it was midnight right on the nose. So who was right???? The suspense! The drama!! Jordan: Hey, why don't we check the TV? She flips around because ABC was still showing the NYC celebration as if that's the only damn city on the planet and we get to Fox just in time to see the 2005 light up. HAP-PY NEW YEAR! OK, back to the game. Where were we? It was just that anti-climactic. You know, we air-kissed over our cards and cheered in the new years with a drink but that was about it. And then we gave up on the card game, went outside to make our "Happy New Year!" phone calls (or text-messages in my case), and then made the party-fatal mistake.....of putting in a movie. We were all asleep by 1:30. I lasted the longest, about 45 minutes into the movie before I left for home. Everyone else stayed in but I wasn't totally prepared to stay the night and I only lived a few minutes away. Jordan seemed a bit worried (aw!) about the crazies on the road, but really, I only saw about 5 cars on the way home and all of them stayed in their own lanes. :)

So that's my holiday news. In other news, the co-parent got a new job (woohoo!). His new job will put him, at least temporarily, at a bank branch about 300 yards away from Gabi's day care. So when I said, "Oh, so are you going to pick her up from school more often, then?" know what he said?? "Nope." So even though he lives 5 miles from her day care and will now be working 300 yards from her day care, he is willing to force me to drive an EXTRA fifty miles a day. That's right. I live 1.2 miles from where I work. And I drive 13.1 miles to drop Gabi off at day care. And then I drive 12.6 miles to work. And guess what? Then I turn around and do the same thing every night. And I have been doing this for 3 years. Four nights a week. So if we started her at a day care near where I live, he would have to do that level of driving once a week for three months (the plan is for him to move to my city in March). Now really. Is this too much to ask? I think not. There are some very very bad things that I want to do to him at this point that do indeed involve him getting beaten severly about the head and neck region. And as Jessica pointed out last night: everyone seems to know the logical and right thing to do....except for him. Punk.

Weather: I was wearing sandals on New Year's Eve after wearing my parka for Christmas. And this weekend, I was wearing tshirts to go to the store and now I'm wearing my scarf INSIDE! And this weekend? Back to the sandals. Get out the parka, put it away, get it out, put it away, get it out DECIDE!

Sports: Woohoo! Go Mavs! They beat the Lakers tonight. And true, the Lakers really aren't the same without Shaq, but somehow, all anyone can talk about is Kobe Kobe Kobe. Well, from the highlights I saw tonight....er, we should really stop talking about him. And something else maybe we should just stop talking about out of embarrassment? OU. Oooooh that was painful. And kinda cool. Teehee! So now I have no football. No hockey (sob). All I have are my dear Mavericks. Don't let me down, Dirk!

In personal news....I have a new crush, but I'm not telling anyone who it is out of jinxing fear. I know that is SO seventh grade and Jessica is SO mad at me for not telling her, but I want to see if I can maybe keep this one to myself and maybe something good can happen. And also, it is good distraction from CK who might as well just not exist any more to me (Lynne rejoices!). He's so dumb. But the new boy is smart. And another thing? He seems to know I exist! Always a plus. But I say "seems to." I really don't know. OK, fine, I really don't know anything about guys because even though they say we are the enigmatic ones, it's really THEM! Projectors! Or...something....

OK, this was fun. I had forgotten just how fun it is to max out your patience with my incessant rambling. New! Updates! Soon! Maybe the next one will even be funny! Yay!

The End.
For Now.