Just updating you about nothing in particular...

So. Friday. I went to my office Christmas party. It was some dinner theater something or other. The dinner was some beefy thing with some saucy stuff and peas (blech) and rice. The rice ended up being pretty good. Then I realized that there were exactly 7 people under 50 years old (not that there's anything wrong with that) in the whole place and they were all at my table. Ah, no wonder I didn't need a knife for the beef. And then, the "follies." Man, this thing is supposed to be about CHRISTMAS, not how insurance rips you off! It was fun until they got all "social commentary" on us, which was about two songs into it. And I couldn't bail. I mean, our boss paid a lot of money for us to go to this thing. And it lasted three hours. A three hour tour...... Felt like it. But the cool part was, I actually kind of dressed up and did my hair and stuff. So when I walked in (15 minutes late, of course), my boss turns to his girlfriend and was all, "Do we know her?" Hee! That was his little backward way of saying I looked nice. So, yay, little shot of confidence because my boss is pretty snarky.

So after THREE HOURS of the boredom and madness, I booked. I turned around to my boss and was like, "Do I have to stay and socialize?" He deadpans, "Run while you can." So I said some quick goodbyes and lied about meeting "some people" which, as you all know, means "I have to go to the bar." I mean, I don't HAVE to, but I like to play my stupid news game and dominate and kick some ass. It's just what I do. So, I don't often brag about how fine I am, but I was looking HOT. I mean, the wine-colored velved jacket with the satin tie and the lace camisole and the wavy hair. Lookin fiiiiiiiiiiine! I was getting checked out left and right! And violated to boot. Apparently, Jessica was so taken with my lacy camisole, she just had to feel it. FOUR TIMES! Hahaha! Because, of course, all the guys were like drooling idiots over that. GEEZ! But anyway, You Know Who actually came over and talked to me. No provocation! He was all, "What's this all about?" motioning towards my fancy attire. I said, "You like it, don't you?" Hee. He looked a little uncomfortable about answering that and just laughed and started to walk away, but I grabbed his arm and said, "No no no don't walk away, I just had my office party tonight, so I'm dressed up for that." And then we made small talk for a couple more minutes until he had to take a bathroom break. And THEN after he was done, he comes back to where I am and says...."Do you know anything about the male anatomy?" After some sputtering from partial disbelief and partial amusement I said, "Yeah, I've heard a thing or two." He just looks at me and then says, "OK, um, never mind" and laughed and walked away. What the....? I don't understand, but alright. He's pretty.

And then Saturday I went Christmas shopping! Wheeeeeeeee! It's so much fun to shop for other people, even though it's kinda harder. But the fine staff at Radio Shack helped me get my dad a super cool car set in under 15 minutes. I swear, the guy was 17 and I'm completely indebted to him. So it's a car that comes all taken apart and you have to put it together. I personally prefer my gifts fully assembled, but guys are weird. And they smell good. Usually.

Sunday, I dragged out my Christmas tree. Now, I didn't put it up last year simply because I had no place to put it in my tiny apartment, so all the lights had extra time to tangle themselves. Also, it appears that a couple of years ago, I had the BRILLIANT idea to buy the lights that were in net form instead of strand form. Yeah, just try to get those bad boys untangled. JUST TRY IT! There's still an unattractive clump in the back. A very bright clump, though. So after I put the tree together and put the skirt around it and started to untangle the lights, I went to pick up Gabs at her Nana's. They were also putting their tree together. And well, instead of the usual foil-type garland, Nana uses pearly type things, which actually looks kinda pretty. Well, she had bought a bunch of pink pearls that didn't really go with her vibrant, multi-colored tree so she gave me the pink pearls! Awwww! She gave me two strands, one with little pearls shaped like roses and a shorter strand with big fat pearls. So she puts 'em in a plastic bag for us and sends us on our way. We get home, I put Gabs to bed and go back to untangling those awful net lights. I get most of the way through and decide that really, who cares? So I dig into the pearls. I'd say there's about 20 feet of the rosy pearls. AAAAAALLL up in a ball. It takes me approximately three hours to untangle it all. Luckily, I had some online friends to keep me from chewing through it. Now my tree is all pretty and pink and purple and as girly as can possibly be. Oh, and I took the big pearls (probably only about six feet) and draped them over my entertainment center. Looks goofy but I don't care. Christmas!

OH! And a very Happy Hannukah to our Jewish friends. Hava Nagila or some other appropriate saying to you! Mazel tov? Please forgive....

So I took the day off yesterday. You'd think I would've had time to sit down and write a blog or an email to a friend (Sorry, Raeli! I haven't forgotten, I swear!), but no, I was just lazy and read my magazines and took a nap. It was nice to have one day with no pressure to clean house or do Christmas shopping or go here or do that. Mental health day. Totally. And as I'm sure you'll all agree, I needed it.

And then today, Jessica came over and we had some shrimp/pesto pizza and watched THE AMAZING RACE with the best exchange in reality show history:

Adam (being the biggest drama king ever): You think I'm faking
it??? Do you want me to jump over the side of this boat to prove it to
you???

Rebecca (deadpan as hell): That'd be awesome.

At first, I so did not like her well, mainly for being with such a puss-ass momma's boy as Adam, but that line was the best. Keep on rockin, sister! And please, I beg of you, dump his sorry, abusive, codependent, bipolar ass as soon as you get back to the mainland. You can do so much better. Like, you know, someone who doesn't put tiny little pony tails on the top of his head to be "original." And for once, the abusive asshole of the show wasn't Jonathan, it was Adam, but I'm SURE Jonathan will be back with the Blue Fuzzy Hat of Fury next week. And in the People I Like News: Don and MJ....awwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! I love them! I want them to be my grandparents!!! Love Love Love! OK, enough gushing.

Hey, look! A whole post and I didn't really SAY anything! Ha! Happy Hannukah!