Phone Books

I hate them. Is this a silly thing to hate? Maybe. But every time I get a new one.... no wait... make that YET ANOTHER new phone book, my blood starts to boil. Listen, when I was growing up, I lived near a town of about 100,000 people with lots of little 5,000 to 10,000 towns around it. The big town was kind of the hub in the middle of all these smaller farming towns. We had one phone book that was about an inch thick and it came every September. Now I live in the Dallas area, and I have one for Lewisville/Flower Mound, one for Lewisville/Coppell/Irving, one for Lewisville/The Colony, and two Greater Dallas (A-L and M-Z). And those are just the ones I can see right at this moment. They are all different sizes and thicknesses. At work, we have an entire shelf dedicated to current phone books. No wait... come to think of it, they wouldn't all fit on the shelf, so we had to start storing them stacked on the counter.

I keep one Lewisville/Flower Mound phone book underneath my living room phone. Want to know how many times I've cracked that baby open? Never. Know why? I have the FREAKIN INTERNET! And even if I didn't, I am not so much a tightass that I won't pay 25 cents to have an operator tell me the number in less time than it would take me to flip through the phone book to find it. Do you see where I'm going here? There is no need for these any more. I mean, if Grampa doesn't have the internet and doesn't want to call his grandkids to get on the internet and find him the nearest proctologist, then Grampa can have a phone book. But these things just show up on my patio every few months. Usually, this results in my grabbing my head and whining, "My GOD not another PHONE BOOK!" I don't NEED another phone book!

How about this, "phone companies!" If I want one, I'll call you, OK? Oh, but how will I have the number without the phone book? Oh you think you are so smart. Relax! Just put the number on the bill. Or put a little insert in with the bill. I know how you guys love to waste tons of paper! And I know you have people at the ready to invade my residential space to drop them off on my door step. So maybe every August, you can put the little flyer in the bills and anyone who wants one can sign up! And leave the rest of us ALONE! They take up space, waste paper, serve no purpose.

I mean, we're all trying so hard to recycle. I've got a box at my desk at work, and I take a trip out to the recycle place every month or so. I feel guilty if I can't find a recycle box at work and have to throw a piece of paper in the regular trash can. So how come the environmentalists aren't all breathing down Verizon and SBC's collective proverbial tree-chopping necks!? Come on, dammit! Quit trying to save owls and snails and get onto these damn phone companies! Oh.... I'm onto something. OK, environmentalists: You see. If we do away with the mass produced phone books, and only the people who actually want them, get them.... well production will drop, I'd bet by at least 2/3. That's 2/3 more trees for owls! I'm just thinking of the owls here.....

The Remote Is Right There

Maybe someone can explain this to me. So far, seven NBC affiliates have pulled The Book of Daniel from their lineups due to complaints. About what, I have no idea. I mean, I do but I don't. Apparently, some religious types are upset that a priest's family would include a gay son, a slutty son, a drug-dealing daughter (who only sold something she found to make money for her art software), a neurotic/alcoholic wife, and a lesbian sister in law. I guess it's not family friendly enough, which I can see. OK, here's a quote from the story I linked to in the title:

[WSMV-TV General Manager] Hale said viewers objected to the language, the sexual content and the portrayal of Jesus, who appears to Quinn's character for regular chats.

OK, the language and sexual content? I can see how that may not be suitable for children (please refer to the title of this blog for an instant solution to that problem). But the portrayal of Jesus? The only thing I found offensive was that he was dressed like he was 2000 years ago! You're the Son of God! Update! But he was portrayed as a warm and kind being who was easy to talk to. I thought.... that's how these people would like for Him to be portrayed, right? I just don't understand. I have to wonder if these people even watched the show. And geez, if you have small children? I just looked up when the show was on so I could find some alternatives for those easily offended parents of small children and the show doesn't even come on until 9pm CST! So that means that it's not even on in the "family hour." Just switch over to NUMB3RS with their stupid 3 in their title if you want some good clean calculus fun. OMG send the children to bed! You people make me so mad.

Augh my blood pressure! Is it dumb to get mad about this? It's just a TV show. Yes it is. But. It's also indicative of the entitlement some people feel to push their values or way of life onto other people. And BOTH sides, conservative and liberal, are guilty of this. And it drives me up the wall. If you don't like the show, don't watch. The low ratings will kill the show. But for God's sake (hee!), the rest of us have our own opinions and don't mind a priest being depicted in a nice, real-ish (i.e. not cookie cutter, 7TH HEAVEN!) fashion who happens to talk to Jesus. And just happens to have actual problems like the rest of us. I..... I just don't get people.

Listen, this isn't the best show in the world. I'm not going to go to bat for it like I would 24 or Lost (Jesus Stick!). But people should be able to make their own decisions about what to watch. If you don't like it, I'm presuming you have more than one channel. Don't go around ruining it for the rest of us. Society as a whole is not being "poisoned" by a TV show. Unless it's Yes Dear. Why don't they complain about that one instead? Is that still on the air? There's so much more offensive things on TV (anyone watch CSI last season?). I don't get why these people are so mad about THIS show. Because it has Jesus in it? As the good guy? I just..... turn of the TV and go read the Bible. You are ridiculous and I'm taking the batteries out of your remote and making you watch Teletubbies on repeat. THEY'LL TURN YOU GAY!

Ahem. Anyway. That station in Tennessee? Got 137 voicemails. And let's say, they got the same amount of emails and letters. That's 411 complaints total. Oooh sounds scary! Half a million people live in Nashville. So what percentage found it offensive enough to complain? You do the math. I can't because it's Saturday.

What's really a crime is how Fox cancelled Reunion and then scheduled an hour of That 70's Show in its place. And then, they kept Stacked in the lineup!!! THAT'S what I'M mad about!! But alas, it is dead. RIP Samantha. You were kind of a selfish bitch anyway.