Eliza, tornadoes, and other things that won't shut up

Well. Wasn't tonight fun? Survivor was OK. It had the twistiest twist that ever twisted! And even with the twistiest twist, it was still kinda boring. I did like it when Mia laid into Twila, though. I especially liked the part where Twila said Mia had a huge chip on her shoulder. HELLO? Twila has the chippiest chip that ever chipped! (OK, that's the last time, I swear) And her admission that she's not "fem'nin" is really irrelevant when you think about it. Is she trying to say that you cannot get along with "wimmin" if'n you ain't "fem'nin"? Or maybe just these particular wimmin? Either way, you can be a tomboy without being an ass. She's playing the "I'm old n weathered n I work on trucks and you little prissy princesses only take baths and give each other sand facials" card and seriously, no one's buyin it except maybe Scout. Scout shoulda been gone last week with her blazing puzzle-piece-finding skills, and Twila shoulda been gone this week for the sorry attitude. Next week looks like fun when one of the ladies starts getting shit for changing her vote tonight. You know, just like Eliza did this week? Sorry, but I like Eliza and her big cow eyes. We both talk too much. She was totally playing the game last week and she should've done what she had to do instead of following the herd. *badump ching*

Tornado Alley on TLC farking RULED! They even had a very special segment on the March 28th, 2000 tornado that hit downtown Fort Worth. That's something I remember far too clearly. I was still in college at the time and I was taking "Special Problems" (shut up) for my Emergency Management degree. It was basically a class to make sure that our disaster plans included everyone like those who don't speak English, those who may need shelter for extended periods of time, the very old, the very young, the disabled and you get it. So anyway, our teacher was a social worker who worked downtown in the Merck Building. I believe it was a Tuesday, a 3 pm to 6 pm class. Our professor comes into class waving this newspaper. The Dallas Morning News had done an article on this study (pdf file) expounding on how long it has been since our area had experienced a major outbreak and that "we're due." The study also took the Moore, Oklahoma outbreak from May 3, 1999, mapped 55 tornadoes and laid them over the Dallas-Fort Worth area to show how the area would be affected if that outbreak had been about 200 miles south (turns out, not so hot). At the time, I did not buy that one bit because Mother Nature does not keep tabs (as evidenced by Florida's seemingly insatiable hurricane season). But since then, I have pulled up tornado frequency maps for the area, and we have a remarkably low occurence of tornadic activity considering our location inside tornado alley. But alas, that is inconsequential because I didn't know it at the time. ANYWAY! So we go on planning our disaster plan for Texas Motor Speedway (a very special population for which TMS has no disaster plan, just FYI), she lets us out early, I'm home by 5:30. We're watchin the news, playing with Gabi. And Andrew's mom calls who lives just NE of Fort Worth. She's all, "The sirens are going off! Why are the sirens going off?" She's a sweet woman, but is prone to panic and/or be oblivious in these types of situations. OK listen, people. There are basically three reasons they set off the sirens: high winds, nickel or larger size hail, or you know, A TORNADO SO GO INSIDE AND GET UNDER A MATTRESS AND GET OFF THE PHONE! Also, sirens are meant to warn people who are outside, away from other alert devices. So don't call your city council and complain because you can't hear the sirens while your TV is on. So anyway, yeah, before you know it, a tornado has gone through downtown (very rare for a tornado to successfully infiltrate a major downtown area. Other notables: Salt Lake City and Miami). Man, that next week in class was really really weird. She was way shaken up and it turns out that the Merck Building, the one she works in, was the first one hit. Man, I could talk about this all damn day but I'm probably boring the hell out of everyone. Moving on.

TLC totally robbed me of "Eye of the Hurricane." Is it ironic that the replaced with a show about repo-men? Anyway, so to fill the time....

I tried to watch the Presidential debates. I really did. But an interview with an SMU student yielded this quote that just about sums up how I felt about that debate every time I ventured to un-mute: "He's said everything he's already said." And the guy's name was Amen (I cannot tell a lie). So....Amen, Amen! I mean, I tried to listen and be a responsible citizen. I tried to tough it out. But all I wanted to say was "SHUUUUUUT UUUUUUP!" We've heard it all before! I hope that if you had the guts to watch it, you'll have the guts to vote. Yay America. And, um, shut up while you're at it. I think fake-boyfriend Mark sums up politics so nicely:

A fun political experiment!!!
People really like to talk about politics. I hate politics, and here is a little experiment you can do to show why.

Items needed:
A 12 inch ruler
One red sharpie pen
One blue sharpie pen

First, mark a red line at 6 ½ inches on the ruler. Next, go two notches to
the right and mark a blue line here. This line is at 6 5/8 inches.Hold the ruler
at arms length and notice the two notches. The red mark represents democrats.
The blue mark represents republicans. There is hardly any fucking difference so
get over it.

Word, Mark. Just....word.
Melodiously strum the vote.

And speaking of voting, here's my take on it. If you don't vote, don't bitch. I know that we are priveleged to live in a country where you don't have to vote. And we are also priveleged enough to voice our opinions without government persecution. And I know that sometimes, you may not be able to sufficiently align yourself with either candidate. That is fine and actually, I commend you for not blindly following party lines. But! But, I say! If you don't like the way the election turned out, then SHOOSH! Here, have an nice steaming example. Let's say, our workplace decides that we all have to wear uniforms. We get to choose between green shirts and red shirts (we work for Santa Claus, OK?). We cannot have both and we all have to decide on one color. You think you look terrible in both colors, so you abstain from voting. I think I could look stunning in either color, but I vote for green since I think that green might agree with more people's complexion. Now, when the new shirts come in, you don't get to whine about how much better everyone would've looked in red. Maybe I'll allow some bitching about the shade of green, but don't bitch that they're green. You had a chance to voice your opinion and you didn't. So shut up already.