Clearing some things up...

southerngirl1 writes:

Ok, I was in a sorority and I have to admit, they are evil girls, but
not necessarily sluts. I was just a mean girl, scroll get me a beer type girl,
but the cliques, snowball effects, etc. just seem to escalate with 100 + girls.
There were many times that I wanted to quit after I got active, not when I was a
pledge because of the cattyness. I somehow stuck it out and am a mixed feeling
alumni. I recently read Pledged and could not believe how true to story was. You
were in a sorority too? As cool as you are though, did you stick it out and
become alumni or leave? Anyways, so much in common!!! We both like John H.,
former sorority girls and southerners. Starting to wonder though about comments
about your daughter's dad. Seems like you have been making references to him
lately....wondering if you are like me in which my dad says I cannot let go, but
I just often reference my ex.

I am so sorry that your experience was medium to harsh. We had 70-ish girls at all times. Naturally, I did not like them all but I am still friends with a few of them to this day. Other benefits include one of my best friends in the world who is a KKG (not my sorority) that was not only my roommate, but a dear friend as she still is. While most of our sisters were rooming with other sisters, we had a wonderful mix of blue and bordeaux, owls and bears, fleur de lis and ivy. We had a blast. Another benefit I enjoy is now meeting girls from other schools and instantly degenerating into squealing 7th graders when we realize our greek letters match. It is truly a feeling of sisterhood that means a lot to me (I never had "real" sisters). I met one of my sisters from another school in the past few years through my (then) best friend. Although all of my friendships from that circle have since diminished, she and I are still friends. I would not change my experience for anything. It was good and bad and I enjoyed the good and learned from the bad. We had cliques within our sorority, but I can't think of any organization where cliques don't form. Churches, workplaces, glee clubs. I mean, it's just human nature to find a smaller group within a large group to enjoy the familiarity. I also find that you do not have to be in a sorority to be a bitch. And you don't have to be a bitch to be in a sorority. Maybe our greek system was an exception, but I'm not sure how that could be since I was priveleged enough to get to attend a convention. I got to meet sisters from all over the US and Canada and of all ages. Our chapter seemed like any other. We had white, black, brown, smart, dim, loud, quiet, beautiful, plain, popular, shy. We really did have it all. That is where I truly learned to work with people I don't necessarily like as people. We had a common goal and regardless of our differences, we worked together. It's also where I learned what the word "confidence" meant. I was basically thrown into a pretty sizable leadership position and I had no idea how to run it. I feared I was incapable until I realized that I was just as capable as anyone else. And remembering that feeling has gotten me through everything from karaoke to childbirth. I'll admit this greek stuff isn't for everyone, but honestly, we never said it was. And if anyone has ever treated any of you poorly because you weren't greek, then I sincerely apologize on behalf of the greek community because that is truly not what we are about. But if they were mean to you just to be mean, well don't blame it on their greek-ness. They're jerks, greek or non-greek. But don't forget the third possibility: you were a jerk to them first because they're greek. Hey, it happens and we don't really take all that kindly to it.

So now I am an alumni. I do enjoy it, but do not go to as many events as I could mainly because the planners are mostly women who work from home or are still single or haven't had kids yet. Honestly, it's tough to get out to meet my sisters at happy hour when I'm a single mom who works full time. And it's tough to get to meetings on the seemingly innocuous Sunday afternoon, but that's my laundry day so blah blah blah. But I don't feel pressured and they're always happy to see me there. I could probably bring the mini-mexi-me, but she's so adorable that it could be a real distraction. No really. You think I'm kidding?

As far as my ex goes....yes, a lot of people think I should just "let it go." To which I say....HUH? We share a child together. We were together for almost 3 years. We speak to each other approximately 5 out of 7 days a week. We see each other at least once a week. He is a part of my life whether I like it or not. He also did a horrible thing to me which I have not forgiven him for and why should I? He knows he was wrong. He told his MOM he was sorry but not ME! Double-ewe-tee-EFF? I was over him the day I left him, but I am not over what he did to me and i won't be over it until he gets the "cannolis"* to tell me himself, but his pride will probably not allow it. So since I'm not over what he did, then people assume that I am not over him. That's total BEE-ESS. We have to deal with each other the rest of our lives, you'd think he'd want to make peace and leave that awful episode in the past. I'd really like to do that, but I file "not expecting an apology" under "letting it slide" and sorry, you just don't treat people like that and I will not let him think for a second that he has "gotten away with it." He owes me an apology. And I don't say that people "owe" me anything very often but everyone knows he was wrong, even his overly-loyal fraternity brothers (as well as his real brother, who is also overly-loyal). So to sum up, I want an apology, but I'm not expecting it. I'm over him, not what he did. Either way, in both of those situations, he is a big part of my life via my child. I will talk about him whether he is letting me boss him around during her birthday party (which totally RULED) or he's being a gigantic ass to me (which, to tell the truth, hasn't happened in a while...thankfully). Usually, when we go through a great period of getting along, it comes to a sort of vertical drop and it all comes crashing down in a horrible Colin/Christie-type meltdown and we have to start from the bottom again. So let's all take a minute and be thankful that he and I are not together any more nor do we stand even an inkling of a chance of ever getting back together. Amen.

In other news: I LOVE BILL PARCELLS! GO COWBOYS!!!

*Yes, I know it's "cajones" but cannolis is much funnier, hm?