What the....You DID Come In Last!

I love September for a few reasons. First of all, it's my darling Gabi's birthday on the 14th (she's so big!). Second, I get all new TV.

First, we had LAX. Blair Underwood and Heather Locklear are very pretty and I will admit that I kept getting distracted and OK, maybe I forgot it was on for the first half hour. But the part that stands out in my mind is when the parents of the supposedly very large 2 year old are trying to get him on the plane for free. So the nice airport man leans down to talk to the kid and he says "are you this many or this many?" holding up two, then three fingers. And then the kid ends up holding up four fingers indicating he was indeed four years old. I can suspend belief about the quasi-bomb and the governor's plane and the loose dog, but a four year old that doesn't talk??? Give me a BREAK!!! If that was my kid, or any other 4 year old I know, you not only would've gotten their age, you would've gotten their birthday, middle name, what they did that day, why they're getting on the plane, how the airplane works, how the airplane can fly through the clouds and what size underwear they have on. At least. I don't even remember what night that was, so I'm not sure if I'll bother revisiting.

Apprentice. What can I say? I love this show. I'm starting to really like Maria although I fear she may be my Omarosa this year. In other words, I started off liking Assaroma the first couple of episodes and then fell into some serious hate and disbelief. I thought she was sassy at first and then I realized she was just delusional. And not the cute kind of delusional like I am. But anyway, my favorite part of tonight's episode was when Bradford was whining because they lost. I mean, I thought they did a great job overall but their mistakes killed them whereas the guys didn't really make any mistakes on the day of the sale. So anyway, "The" Bradford is all "Losing to me is like kryptonite to Superman. It just drains me. And coming in second is just as bad as coming in last." There are TWO TEAMS, GENIUS! I had myself a good laugh over that. Spoiler: (highlight to read) That's what you get for being so cocky, Mr. Bradford. FIRED!!! But in all fairness, he didn't deserve it because as far as the task at hand, he was phenomenal. Stacie J. or Ivana should've definitely gotten the boot. I particularly liked the part where Apex was getting ready for the big day and they were all getting ready and Bradford was running around telling them to get all prettied up because sex sells or something like that (which, as much as I hate it, is true) and telling them to basically show some cleavage and then it shows one of the women taking a vicious bite out of a banana. Haaaahahaha! Editing genius! And then one of the women, I think it was Ivana, started spouting off about how they don't need to sell themselves because they are strong intelligent women. Well, honey, that's true but strong and intelligent doesn't sell ice cream. In other words, her entire statement was horribly incongruous with the task at hand. What I hated the most though, was how the guys were all scared about losing to a bunch of women. I just wish they would leave the tired old gender issues in the dark ages where they belong and then send a memo to.....

Survivor! Ugh! Men vs. Women AGAIN? More whining by the men about losing to a bunch of women not to mention the women spouting off about how strong they are and how they can beat any man at whatever game blah blah blah. I realize that men and women are very different in some aspects. But in most ways, seriously, we are just alike. We are all overly cocky with low self esteems, smart and stupid, liars and truthtellers, good and bad drivers. It's not about having a penis or some boobs, it's about being people and how you choose to act. I am soooooooo tired of generalizations. All of them! Anyway, back to the actual show. I would just like to say HELLLOOOOOO BRADY!!!! COME TO MAMA!!! Call me!