Jessica says....

Man, I hope she's right. But ultimately, I think she's nuts. That 1/3rd of a beer really took a toll on her. So here's the dealio. We go out to the bar. There are 3 men of interest there. Brad, TOIL, and Captain Kangaroo. Her clarity on 2 out of 3 of these men make me hope that she's right about the third. Ha!

The case of Brad: She asks me if he had made any snotty comments to me. I said no, just made a friendly little joke and moved on. I ask her, why such an ass last night? Jessica says, he probably thought you were on a date and just wanted to either make you look bad or feel bad. Hm, that makes a lot of sense. I show up with a guy: he's an ass. I show up alone and sit next to Tim (father of adorable 14 year old and in the "drunken uncle" class of men from the bar) and the only ribbing I get is about not saving him a seat. Hm, Jessica Theory accepted.

The case of Captain Kangaroo: We move to the opposite side of the bar to accomodate two more friends that are on their way from the airport (Hi Annique and Aria!). Captain Kangaroo comes in and sits at the table directly behind us. I could literally reach over the back of my chair and touch his arm. I actually smelled him before I saw him. He doesn't wear a lot of cologne, he just has a unique, light scent about him that is totally hot. So we note that it's kind of cold in the bar. I said, yeah it'd be nice if I had my JACKET! (I say with a sideways glance). I turn to her and ask, Why would he bother coming to me and saying he wanted to be friends and then ignore me? I don't get why he ignores me! Jessica says, that's what fifth graders do (she's a 5th grade teacher, so she's the expert). A guy likes a girl so he just stops talking to her. Which, give a shout out if you agree, IS RETARDED! He is thirty-one years old!!! How can you not know how to act around a girl you like? Then again, I'm not totally sold on the idea that he likes me but I have no alternative theory. I'm just truly stumped, but Jessica's theory holds water since CK has admitted to "pigtail pulling" before.

TOIL: Sigh. He is so lovely. He actually got to sit at the bar with us. He got there after me, but before we moved over to the other side. He says hi to everyone, just going down the bar. And then he gets to me.....nothing. I get a glance. I'm all....scuse me? It wasn't a dirty look or anything. I'd say it conveyed nervousness more than anything. Then Jessica shows up. She gets a huge hug, a how ya doin, a short conversation. I'm like, HEY! So we get up and move over to the other side. I'm carrying my trivia box and my beer, so no time to stop and talk. Then Aria and Annique show up and Aria gives Jessica a Livestrong bracelet. He immediately jumps in and they have a pretty entertaining conversation about the bracelets. Once again, I get a couple of glances here and there, but other than that, nada. The most I got was when a guy showed up and asked if anyone was sitting in the chair next to me. I say no. The guy on the other side of the seat says no. TOIL is in the next seat over and sees it all. He then gives me the "Oh yeah, get ya some of that" look. And I gave him the "Oh, I don't think so" look right back. We went back and forth on it and ended up having a giggle over it. I turn around to talk to Jessica and turn back and the guy was gone. I look at TOIL and he gives me the "you lost your chance" look. He's so adorable. I could just.....well you know. So I mention how he had not said hardly anything to me all night yet was just fine talking to the other 3 girls. I mean, his girlfriend was working but if you're worried about her getting jealous, talking to 3 gorgeous girls really isn't the way to go. So I asked Jessica. Why would he not talk to me? Here's the kicker....wait for it.....Jessica says, because he loves you. Wha? Are you insane??? He is not aware of my existence! She says....because he likes you and doesn't know how to act. OK, listen, he has got this really cute, really sweet girlfriend. Why in the world would he want anything to do with me? I don't get it.

So 2 out of 3, I buy her theories. They all boil down to one basic theme: Boys are stupid. I mean, I thought girls were supposed to be the enigmatic, strange, confusing ones. Just say it! I'm not a mind reader!

In the wise wise words of Avril Lavigne: Why you have to go and make things so complicated?

Oh man, I'm really hungry. I should get dressed and painted and go forage for food. My alma mater, UNT is playing UT tonight so maybe I'll go watch that. TOIL might be there since he's a huge UT fan. But that's not why I'm going. Doesn't hurt, though. Word.