Stuff that I think about at work when I break stuff and can't find anything to do

Reader mail ROCKS! southerngirl1 writes (you know, she's really kicking the rest of yous guyses asses in the commenting department. I'm just sayin):

I figured I'd see a post regarding LCS. Or are you too
upset to deal with the fact that they showed John Heffron's wife after his set
last night?

Did you SEE that tramp? "Oh I'm so pretty and blonde and married to the cutest funniest guy ever." Shut up. And her name is Rie. Pfft. (Me? Jealous? Totally.) I had a momentary high when I realized he wasn't wearing the ring. And then, sadly, they show her. SIGH! I was so close to making him mine. At least he's not married to some ugly chick. I guess it's time for a new object of obsession....er....affection. But still, John makes me laugh more than any of them so I'll vote for him relentlessly as long as I can. OMG the stories about the girls in the bar being like the Marines....it's so hilarious because it is SO TRUE!

On a totally unrelated note, GET THIS! I've been having too many WTF moments lately. Where's Gilbert Gottfried to punctuate my every WTF moment? Anyway, I totally did not see this one coming. I was just trolling around the Yahoo! front page because I have somehow broken my map. (I totally know: How do you break a map? Seriously, if anyone could do it, it'd be me. And it was. Still waiting for my map to be fixed, hence the mid-day blog.) And there at the bottom of the little "In the News" square, I spy "Dallas Cowboys." OK, that's cool, maybe it's a story about Bill Parcells getting tackled during practice (which, as much as I love the Tuna, I find highly amusing). But there it was: Dallas Cowboys release Quincy Carter. I totally did not see that one coming. Maybe some Quincy-haters will say they did, but they really didn't. The guy started ALL 16 GAMES last season! But then again, that was before the acquisition of Vinny Testaverde. But come on! Quincy just needed time to bloom! He's not going to be "the next Troy Aikman" in his first 2 years.

Oh what do I care. As long as we WIN I'm happy. And as long as we also dismissed the evil and creepy Chad Hutchison, I guess I can deal. Maybe that's why I liked Q so much. At the beginning of last season, they were basically pitted against each other for the starting job. We all picked our favorite and Q got the job, of course so we all stood behind him. It was a tempestuous love affair we had with you, Q. And far too short in my never humble opinion. May you find a new home and win a Super Bowl. After the Cowboys win their next 3 (*coughinarowcough*), of course.

We play the Ew-stun Texans August 14th at 7:00 pm. I know I'm supposed to love all Texas teams, but I hate the Spurs and the Aggies and I can hate the Texans, too. Ha!

You know what a gross term is? Raw sewage. Ew.

What is the deal with all the small plane crashes? First, one in Missouri killed 5 (all from the Dallas area) on Monday. Then, 6 died on Tuesday when a plane crashed into a home in Lakeway, TX near Austin. And this morning, three people died just outside of Olney, TX (south of Wichita Falls). And news just came out that another plane crashed this morning near Mineral Wells, TX, killing 2. Is this something that happens all the time, but the media is making a big deal out of it? You know, like the shark attacks of Summer 2001? Remember that? It seemed like every day, there was another shark attack and it just seemed like all of a sudden, the sharks were hungry for some homo sapien blood. Like they were so angry that humans were swimming in "their" waters (just like they had done countless summers before, no doubt) and the sharks were getting REVENGE, DAMMIT! But then it turned out that the number of shark attacks on humans was actually LOWER than the average. But it doesn't seem like the media is making any bigger deal over plane crashes than it usually does. I feel like they always treat them as strange and scary, and hopefully rare, occurrences. But don't you think it's odd? Four crashes in 3 days? And even if you don't count the one in Missouri, that's 3 crashes in 3 days in Texas. I'm not postulating any theories (write it on your calendars), I just think it's WEIRD!

And what is with this whole Kobe Bryant thing? I am NOT a Kobe sympathizer mainly because I hate all California teams, especially the Lakers and I hate cheaters. But the prosecution is freaking out about the three times that the woman's name was leaked. While I will agree that it is unfortunate that her name was leaked, is it fair to be incensed that her name was leaked while in the meantime, his name is plastered all over everything to do with this case? He hasn't even gone to trial yet much less been convicted. Why was his name released and not hers? She's the victim, right? If she's telling the truth (and I'm not saying that she's lying), and if she is truly a victim, her identity should be kept quiet. But on the other hand, he has not been convicted. Assuming he's innocent, being accused is bad enough. I know he's famous and he chose this life in the public eye, but the police department, DA's office and media totally blew it on this one. If he is indeed guilty, he will pay the price one way or another.

Oh. Mah. Gawd. I am so bored! I've resorted to talking about Kobe.