Seriously, no more TOIL stories. After this one.

I met SpikyGirl on Friday. She was really nice. I HATE THAT! How am I supposed to hate her guts when she's being so NICE??? She even let me have a drink of her...well, it started off as a Cape Cod, then someone bought her a Kamikaze and she didn't particularly care for shots, so she poured the Kamikaze in the Cape Cod and it was so good and she let me try it. Hmph. I still kissed TOIL on the cheek before I left. He's so delicious (see May 2 post).

He also keeps bringing up our wedding. This, I find strange mainly because he has yet to realize that I exist. I love to joke that we're getting married because I love the letter Z and his last name starts with a Z. I only said it twice, but now I guess it's on for next month. I think I'm going to shoot for July 3rd since we can get the fireworks for free. For some reason, I'm all about the holiday wedding. My first choice would be New Year's Eve. I know what you're thinking! But no one will want to come because they'll all want to go to parties! Uh, hello, People! My wedding IS the party! If everyone's going to be at the wedding, who will throw the parties? Der. That was a lovely tangent. So anyway, this should be interesting to see if he actually remembers or ever brings it up again. I mean, usually, he's the sober one and I'm not so I guess we'll just see. Eh?

ANYWAY! Then on Saturday, the bum asks out this little brunette twit right in front of me. And then she's all..."I can see why you wouldn't like blondes" or something to the effect that guys shouldn't like blondes. Hello! I'm sitting right here! What a beeyatch. I mean, and I had just gotten it done earlier that day and it looked fabulous, I don't care what anyone says. Even TOIL said it looked awesome. I'm actually a little ticked off at him for saying all that crap and then acting the way he did with her.

Now here's the deal with him being nice to me. He is a bartender. Part of that nice-ness is his job. And sometimes, he has no choice but to say something nice. For example: The basic compliment fish. "Do you like my hair?" "Yes, it's fabulous." Now, I did not say that. He offered that compliment. I hate fishers and I hate fishing. But sometimes, he really is left with nothing else to say. But then there are those other times when he jumps in. He does not have to say anything at all, yet he makes the effort to say or do something nice. This, I do not understand. Because the boy still doesn't know I exist. And that is the reason I cannot ask the guy out. He really needs to come to realize my existence on his own. KnowhatImean? I have had many people come to me and say "quit whining and just ask the guy out, would you?" I just can't. Especially after watching him make out with SpikyGirl on Friday and asking out Beeyatch on Saturday. I mean, in a way, that's good because that means he's not seeing SpikyGirl exclusively. Ugh, can you believe that I'm totally tired of talking about this? Because I really am.

So, it seems that my self esteem may be lacking even after a fabulous dye job. But alas, I have the cure for low self esteem. Watching The Swan! Maybe I'm a little jealous of their toned bods at the end, but listening to these poor women talk about their sheer lack of self esteem makes me realize that I don't really have it all that bad. It also makes me thankful that I don't feel bad enough about my body or my face to ever let someone take a knife to it. It'd be nice for someone to just remove the flab and be done with it, but the pain and risk just doesn't seem worth it. I'll hire my four year old as my personal trainer. She's pretty relentless and I can pay her in grilled cheese and other assorted dairy products.

The End. For Now.