Chronicles of TOIL, Chapter 247

So I went out for Cinco de Mayo. I'm just having a couple of beers! I don't need to say anything else stupid in front of You Know Who. Remember that movie with Eddie Murphy and he kept saying "Keep it together" like, over and over? That was my mantra all night. And I had Eddie Murphy's voice in my head saying it. My head is a strange place to be sometimes. My daughter recognizes Eddie Murphy. That's kind of scary to me. Blame Shrek and Dr. Doolittle, I guess. Stopping tangent now. So everything went pretty well! Low-level flirting. The most flirtatious thing I said to him was "Hey baby, can I get some chicken fingers?" Hm...I'm just going to cut and paste from an email I wrote to WJ earlier about what else happened. I'm so wordy sometimes!

Basically, everything was going great and I was keeping my mouth shut and being generally smart, witty, funny, and all around fantastic until....."she" showed up. Wearing a halter top. BEFORE MEMORIAL DAY! Whatever, Spikygirl. He even confirmed that they were "seeing" each other, but would not elaborate. That means he's hittin that. GAH! It's OK. He needs to get it all out of his system before he hooks up with me. Because, let's face it, I'm IT! So anyway, I'm hanging out with my friend Jonesy, which is the only way I would've gotten all of that information about TOIL....anyway....Jonesy spots this guy across the bar (sitting right next to SpikyGirl) who apparently looks JUST LIKE this guy in some movie that none of us have seen. Seriously, he asks EVERYONE and most of us had never heard of it. Body Double? No clue. So anyway, he goes "Anyone have a picture phone? I gotta have a picture of this guy!" Of course, there's mine sitting out right there and Jonesy's like, "Show me how to use this thing. Take a picture of [TOIL]." So, ka-ching, I got a picture of him while looking helpful and informed. And then I tried to show Jonesy how I can email it to people and it's so easy and then my phone froze up and we couldn't take a picture of that other creepy guy. Oh drat. But the crappy part is, SpikyGirl is in the background all slouched all over the bar. Classy. Oh, and then I kind of let it slip to Jonesy about my er...."crush".....on TOIL. It was so cute because I said I was so jealous. And he thought I was jealous of TOIL b/c he has a nice car *total confusion* and I said no, goofy, I'm jealous of her! And he looks at me. Looks at her. Looks at him. Looks back at me, points at TOIL and goes "You're in?" Ha! I love that guy. He's like that really cool uncle who bets on horses all the time. I said, yes I'm "in" but you gotta keep it SHOOSH! He said mum's the word with Jonesy, which I sort of believe. He seems to genuinely like me, even though he used to hate me. And he seems to genuinely like TOIL and vice versa. So, we've got an interesting cast of characters here. I wrote a lot.

End of email. And I've thought some since I wrote that. Now I'm sort of thinking that even though TOIL is super nice to me and flirts all the time...I'm starting to think that he does it because he knows I adore him. And, as you may know, it's nice to be adored. So why not egg that on a little bit? I don't think he does it consciously. I mean, I egg it on when he starts flirting with me. Mmm. Eggs. So that's one theory. Another theory is, I made up that last theory because I think I'm setting myself up for disappointment and now I'm trying to lessen the inevitable blow that I will surely have to take when the fit hits the shan and it comes out that I love him and he likes SpikyGirl. Have I mentioned that I hate her? OK, hate is a strong word. I hate her. Not only does she have something I want, she's also kinda mean. Jealous? Me? It's OK if I admit it, right? Well, jealousy may not be the best emotion, but it happens. And we have to admit it and deal with it instead of yak about how awful it is to be jealous. It sucks, but this is a step in some process, I'm sure. What process, I can't quite figure out. Maybe I'll end up on the other side with a permit of some kind. A permit to ROCK YOUR FACE! I couldn't resist.

The End. For Now.