Who listens to Blender anyway

So Blender released their top 10 worst songs ever. Here I thought the listing belonged to VH1. Anyway, they actually ranked the top (bottom) 50 worst songs, but only released the top 10. I suppose they think I'm going to buy their magazine for the other 40. But they are wrong. Seven of those songs were from the 80's. I take issue with that. Sure the 80's were rampant with one-hit wonders, but they still managed to produce some of the best synthesizer riffs ever! And Starship as #1?? I'm incensed! I mean, we're all knee-deep in the hoopla, aren't we? AREN'T WE?

So Internet Man Sevi and I decided that we cannot resist a list of our own. He's already started on his. I've spent some time spacing out about mine and I'm not sure of the direction I want to take with this. I mean, there are plenty of songs that just grate on my nerves like nothing else (Neil Diamond). But this isn't the most annoying song list or it'd be the easiest list ever. All I'd have to do was bring up the entire discography of Creed. Cut. Paste. Done. But I can't do that with this list because some of their songs, although hard to admit, are actually musically decent. If that makes any sense at all. Just like Linkin Park. I don't find them entirely enjoyable, but their arrangements and musicality are actually very good. So, I have to go with songs that are just plain bad. Like that damn song from Las Ketchup from last year or maybe the year before....who cares, it was awful. What were they saying? Was it in english? They named themselves after a condiment. They shan't be taken seriously. Yes, I'm talking to you, Salt n "Pepa." Push it good. Speaking of which, I also really really hate it when popular songs insist on using poor grammar. Ain't no mountain high enough. Now, I live in Texas, so I use "ain't" more than I should, but that double negative was just way too much for me to stomach. Should some poor grammar squeeze its way into a song I really like, I will stop singing at the point of poor grammar. I just can't do it!

Well, the good news is, a while back I created a music list at launch.yahoo.com to listen to at work because, sadly, I had no radio. Basically, you rate all these songs that you like and you want to listen to and then you have songs "suggested" to you. Well, a number of those songs I hated and rated them as "don't ever ever play this song in my playlist." So all I have to do, is go to the very end of my list and remember all these songs I despise! This makes this list so much easier! "Hot in Herre" There's really no reason to intentionally misspell anything. Even for your homies. Both "Hero"s. One by Enrique Iglesias and one by Chad Kroeger of Nickelback. Two very different songs. One very painful theme. Suckage. "It wasn't me" by Shaggy. Glorifying infidelity tends to piss me off and the song was oh so stupid. "When it's Over" by Sugar Ray. Mark McGrath, you're not even pretty enough for me to pretend that you have a good "band." Ugh, Staind. You are so whiny. Take some uppers, man! Have a Coke and a smile! Something!!! And Cat's in the Cradle. I feel for the kid and the dad involved in this song, but it is sooooooooo long and soooooooo annoying. Ironic by Alannis Morissette. Now, I like Alannis. Not so much in her angry days, but she's a great musician and a fabulous vocalist. Just try singing one of her songs, she's amazing. But this song? Should've been called "Unfortunate" because none of those scenarios that she sings about are ironic, just horribly unfortunate. Especially when her wine gets ruined. I'm all about fishing that fly out and complaining to the waiter so I get a new glass and then chugging it while he's away getting my replacement wine. See? That's not unfortunate! Everybody wins! I know what you're thinking...Ew! A fly was in that! Tell me the last time you heard of someone dying because a fly landed on/in something they ingested. Or even getting sick! I mean, I bet we've all eaten bugs without even knowing it and we're fine! I realize this is assuming that everyone reading this is still alive. It's a chance I'll just have to take.

OK, I think I've got a good start. I'll post the finished list when I'm finished. Until then, I need a sign off line. How about.....um....Fly with the pretty glitter ponies!!! Good? Good.