My take on the ALLEGED Romo/TO story

The information provided herein is not a reflection of any actual events. It is a summary of all of the information gleaned from various media outlets including (but not limited to) ESPN.com, Fark.com sports tab, and 1310 The Ticket. Actually, now that I think about it, this story may be completely devoid of any facts whatsoever.

OK so basically what happened was, TO called up Pat and Roy and were all, "Dudes, do you see this?" and Pat and Roy were like, "Yeah, I guess." And then TO was like, we have got to talk to the bossman about this, so then Pat and Roy were like, sure dude whatever, can we play Madden later? So the three amigos go in and talk to ol' Garrett and they're like, "Tony is totally picking his BFF over us!" except it wasn't really "we" so much as it was "TO." Well, Garrett was like, dudes really? And Pat and Roy were like *shrug* and TO was like *princess stomp!*

So THEN, soooooooooooomebody goes all blah blah blah to ESPN... doesn't even give the Dallas Morning News the heads up or NOTHIN. And then ESPN is all, well let's take a survey, right? They do it on myspace all the time. So this ESPN dude goes around asking a bunch of nosy questions and some players who are way nervous about people finding out that they got big flappy gums were all, "Yeah, TO's a total attention whore and never wipes down the gym equipment and splashes us in the pool. And sometimes, he even takes two juice boxes at lunch." And then Bradie James is like, "Sometimes I ref their slapfights." And then I'm all, add some pudding and I'm so there. What? Bradie James is wicked hot.

So NOW everybody thinks TO is losing his marbles and is drawing lines in the dirt all Clint Eastwood style when really he's just kind of bitching and whining, which should come as really no surprise to anyone but his sweet dear old grandmother. But really, what do you expect when you get 53 dudes who have pretty much been the best at what they do their whole lives in the same locker room, naked and sweaty with a limited supply of towels?

.......um.... what?

So here's my theory and feel free to pick it apart.... I think this is a manufactured dramatic situation to drum up TV ratings for Sunday. Was it necessary for a prime time nationwide game between division rivals who have been battling each other for playoff spots for years? I don't think so. However, we are talking about Jerry Jones here. I'm thinking he tried to get the media machine rolling with his comment about being "surprised" that Marion Barber didn't play against the Steelers. Well, when Tashard Choice stepped the hell up and played like a champ, that story died. Well now no one's talking about the Cowboys, what to do? Ah yes... the ace in the hole. The one that never fails.... Terrell Owens had a hissy fit. Hey, maybe he did. I have no doubts that the WR corps met with Garrett to discuss which plays were being called and which options were being utilized. Was it as bad as the media outlets are making it out to be? I don't think so. The media loves a good TO story, even when it's mundane and dry like that one time your mom tried to make beef jerky in the oven. This, however, is a juicy succulent filet mignon of a story with lots and lots of bacon and a pepper rub grilled up to a nice medium rare, with the juice leaking over into the mashed potatoes and.....

I keep doing that. So there's my theory. If TO is really drawing a line in the sand, all I have to say is, we've got about 5 wide receivers to get the job done. We only have one QB who can get it done, and that has actually been proven in a court of law and multiple scientific studies. Plus, one of them is a free agent after this year and the other one just started a multi-year, multi-bajillion dollar contract. So... I'd say the one with the big contract will probably be the one sticking around for the long haul. I love TO, but I love Romo even more. In fact, I would choose Romo over just about anyone except my own flesh and blood. And even then, there are some cousins I'd boot before him.