Fantasy Football
OK. THIS is why I have never signed up for Fantasy Football before this year. I knew I would get distracted from my real NFL purpose, which is loving and supporting my Cowboys no matter what. And now... here I am... Paying attention to other teams!!!
A few updates that I'm very passionate about:
Amani Toomer: Had to pick him up today even though I had five wide receivers on my roster. But two of them are going to be out on byes this week. And no, they're not on the same team. I diversify! He is my third Giant. OK, maybe not that diverse after all.
Troy Brown: I had to let him go from my team today. That hurt, y'all. That hurt a lot. But Vinatieri is my kicker and New England is on a bye this week and I needed another kicker, so what's a girl to do? Had to drop him because he was the most injured and I had too many wide receivers on my bench. It still hurts. Right here. *points to heart*
So what kicker did I pick up? Well Dallas's own Jose Cortez, of course! He is my third Cowboy. Well, fourth if you count the defense that I keep on the bench, mostly because I don't want anyone else to have them. Hey, remember that diversity thing I said earlier? Yeah. Scratch that. And also, quit yer snickerin about my 'boys! They currently have more points than the defense that I'm playing, which is Philadelphia (makes note). Geez, what is my DEAL? I'm supposed to HATE Philly! But we all know about my little crush on Donovan McNabb. But he is not my QB. Brett Favre is my QB with the Lesser Manning as a backup. And when he comes off his bye, I'll probably start rotating Stephen Davis with Sammy Morris because they both seem to be doing well and as you all may have noticed, I need to work on my diversity and start including teams not included in the NFC East. Except the Redskins. I won't be touching them. They are Cowboy Enemy Number One. Along with Terrell Owens. There is not enough duct tape in the world for that guy.
OMG LOOK AT WHAT I'VE BECOME!!!! I've become one of those people who can just talk and talk and talk about their fantasy football teams like it's so damn important! And.... as if you really want to hear about who I'm playing this week, much less NEXT week!
I drafted Plaxico Burress because he has the Coolest Name in the NFL. Hands down. There. I'm back to being me again.
posted by di at 8:47 PM
4 Comments:
Gotta love a girl who can talk football. I'd be a lot more upset about my poor recent showing in fantasy football if I wasn't distracted by the World Series. In Chicago. No, really. I'm just as shocked as anyone.
Did you actually state that you are considering starting Sammy Morris?!? The Dolphins' third-stringer has racked up an amazing 44 yards rushing so far this season. *I* have rushed for more yards than that in a season, and I was a 295-lb. offensive tackle.
As for the best NFL names, Plaxico might make the top 10 list, but I wouldn't say it's the coolest. I'll have to get back to you with my list of the best names.
By the way, if you pick up Jose Cortez, don't you need to call him a vaquero?
Sincerely,
Santos-McGarry Campaign Headquarters and Cubs Fan Mockery Service
6:28 AM
Here are my Top Ten Coolest NFL Names:
10. Brandon Manumaleuna (TE-StL): In an homage to the extremely funny movie "Necessary Roughness," I call this guy "Manu the Slender."
9. Flozell Adams (OT-DAL): This sounds like the name of a character on The Jeffersons or Good Times. I picture an older black woman when I hear his name.
8. Alge Crumpler (TE-ATL): You can't say this name without laughing, or at least smirking a bit.
7. Orpheus Roye (DL-CLE): Sounds like some evil leader in a sci-fi movie. "The galaxy will be destroyed if we don't rescue Princess Alia from the insidious Orpheous Roye!"
6. Kimo Von Oelhoffen (LB-PIT): Even though he's Hawaiian, the name evokes a German leader, perhaps from some kind of WWII movie. "I am Herr General Kimo von Oelhoffen, und ve haf vays of making you tok."
5. Bhawoh Jue (DB-SD): I think his parents were eating peanut butter when discussing names, and this is the closest thing to an intelligible sound that could escape. Always makes me think of the milk commercial: "Aaaa-won Buhhhhh...Aaaaaaa-won Buhhhhhhh!"
4. Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila (DL-GB): Not only is this a fun name to say, the initials also provided him the cool nickname of "KGB."
3. Craphonso Thorpe (WR-KC): Come on...Crap Phonso? Why not Shit-stopher, or Fecal-istair?
2. Richie Incognito (OL-StL): How perfect is this? He plays a position in which only the very best players are known outside their own homes. He's a rookie from Nebraska playing as a backup for the Rams. Is there really any way he could be more Incognito??
1. Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala (RB-PIT, released in Oct. 2005): Rumor has it that this guy missed all of his rookie year training camp with a sprained wrist that he suffered while signing his contract. It was always so much fun to hear a broadcaster try to say his name, especially within the timeframe of a football play. Madden tried for an entire game before coming reasonably close. Plus, I love how the Steelers fans always yelled "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" when he got the ball. Fu was also the name of the monkey-looking bad guy in The Golden Child. End stream of consciousness here.
Sincerely,
Santos McGarry Campaign Headquarters (formerly Incognito House of Pancakes)
7:53 AM
LOL! Great reply. But if we can include college ball, you just gotta love the name (but not the team) of Chijioke Onyenegecha (DB - OU). Every time the announcer says his name, it comes out sounding like "I'm gonna getcha". And as far as other sports are concerned, check out this.
1:59 PM
So, um, TO is the like the only good player on my team besides... er... um... Clinton Portis, who we're just going to pretend still plays for the Broncos. Do you totally despise my team or WHAT? P.S. Blogger made me type in "uurmrglm" to post this. I'm definitely going to try and work that word into my daily vocabulary.
9:25 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home