I will catch up with my face on Tuesday... approximately

Because it got rocked right off into next week. Here's the story.

Last night, Beth, Jessica, Jordan, Danny (Jordan's brother), and I all went to go see Bowling for Soup. Beth, I might add, is good friends with the band. And the road crew. And the security guys. And the merchandising guys. Very sociable, that Beth.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaanyway.........

Elizabeth and I arrive at FireWater almost simultaneously, despite travelling there from opposite directions. I have no idea how we did that considering the place was IN Dallas and it was Friday afternoon rush hour. So we arrive maybe 2 minutes apart, park in the crappy "What? You don't valet?" parking lot, and head in. Oh wait, Beth has to put her sunglasses back in the car. Yes, the sun was still a-blazin since it was about 6:45. So we meander over to the buses and I got to meet their security guy, who was way cool, as you may have expected. We learn that none of the guys are there yet, which makes sense since, you know, they're like... from here and are probably either at home or stuck in traffic. So we go in and present our "tickets" that were allegedly worth $20, that I heard they gave away 3500 of, but only planned to let in 1200 people. Why do they do that? Anyway. There is nowhere to sit inside since it's 400 degrees outside. The inside looks like any other restaurant on one side, but if you go into the bar area, it's very open. It's almost like it's missing two walls. The larger of these two "missing" walls leads straight out to a wide set of stairs, and then to a medium-size patio and then to the stage. There are misters everywhere and that is when I decided that it is pointless to try to be attractive when it's 400 degrees outside and you're misted with water every time you go outside. There's also a large pond with fountains all around the patio. Neat-o. Geddit? FireWater? Anyway, the patio is almost empty except for the food service tables and the spots around the open air bar. And they're all full. Nowhere to sit at all. At this point I'm thinking, How are we going to eat? Actually, I'm thinking that at about every point. In my life. And it shows. No but really, I'm starting to wonder how we're going to eat since I had counted on eating there. Oh well, we get beers.

Beth makes the smooth observation that this is a great time to stake out the spot we want for the rest of the night. I wholeheartedly agree and we grab a spot at the very front on the far right side (if you're facing the stage). There's a huge stone pillar right in front of us and tables turned on their sides as "security barriers." But I could probably lean over the table and put my hand on the edge of the stage. This is where we stood for the next six hours.

We take turns getting new beers and start to think that maybe the single beers are a smidge overpriced ($4 for a bottle is what we thought, unless Booby McBartender cheated Beth out of her change). Then we see people walking around with buckets o' beer. We ask this one guy who looked pretty tame how much they were. He didn't know. We ask another guy. Don't know. Oooooh kay. Nobody knows how much they are. Just ask a bartender, you say? OK! Good idea! They're a smidge busy right now. I'll ask later.

So the first band comes on. They're called King Zero and were pretty good. I like them because their lead singer kept saying stuff like, "Hello Dallas Fucking Texas!" And he also asked how we're doin about 47 times. Apparently, we were all doing WOO! Their lead guitarist looked like he should've been doing my taxes instead of rocking out, which made him even more awesomer. So they rock and we rock and Beth and I decide it's time for beer buckets. We negotiate the brand of beer which didn't take long since I seriously do not care. I say, "Who's going first?" She says, "I don't care." Now mind you, the speakers are maybe six feet over our heads. We can't hear anything. It's either yell in their ear or read lips. So I make the motion for rock, paper, scissors. How else to solve such a quandary? We tied. With scissors. This brought on a lot of giggling which leads me to believe that this is the point where we were most certainly both at least a bit tipsy. So she says fuckit I'll go. The crowd level is about Level Yellow. So it takes some weaving, but not any "excuse me" or *poke-poke* "Hi, just passin through." She's back in a flash with the beer. "Hey, how much was it?" "Um.... I forgot to ask." King Zero plays for at least an hour, maybe an hour and a half. Please know that at this point, things start to get fuzzy. I vaguely remember a guy standing on the tables (aka the "security barriers") to light up this cauldron, maybe 3 feet wide, that was attached to the stone pillar (Geddit? FireWater?!). Oh, did I mention it's pretty damn windy? One more reason I was not going to be a hot chick that night. Ponytail! And then Beth points over my head in the direction of the parking lot and I turn around and there's this HUGE cauldron at least 50 ft up, maybe 8 feet across, on top of a flagpole-looking thing, all aflame. It was rad. And I turned back around and asked how they lit that one? Then there were some jokes about shimmying and a Zippo that I can't quite remember right now, but trust me.... they were hilarious. And we were kinda toasted, so it's all funny at that point.

So now it's my turn to go get a beer bucket. The second band, entrust, is about to come on. I turn to go back up to the bar and the crowd is now at Level Orange. Weaving and plotting the best routes and a few "excuse me"s and the gentle hand on the arm to let people know that someone's behind them so please don't back up and crush anyone (i.e. me). Just as I almost get to the stairs, I see..... is that a Jessica? What if I yell it out and it's not her? Yeah, that didn't even cross my mind because I have no inhibitions at this point. JESSICAAAAAA!!!! She is maybe two feet in front of me. AAAAAAAH! She was all, where are you guys? And I'm all, over in front of the pillar, and we step up on the steps so I could point it out to her. "See? Right under the fire!" And then I tell her that I'm getting more beer and am going to order some food because if Beth and I don't eat, things are gonna get ugly. So I get the bucket, order the food and the guy says 15-20 minutes on the burger. That seems fast. OK. So I decide to deliver the bucket (Hey, how much was it? Er.... I'm going to end this joke right now and just tell you that I STILL don't know how much they were) and come back for the food. I drag Jessica back to our spot and it's getting pretty crowded. So there's a group of youngish guys standing just to the right of us and I'm all, "Hi! Scuse me, beer comin through." Guys love it when girls say that. And they were nice and scooched back and I leaned over to set the bucket down and get a beer for myself. I stand back up and the guy behind me had this look on his face. OK, so maybe my ass was about 1/2 an inch from his goodie basket. I just pointed my finger and said, "Naughty naughty!" Guys love it when girls say that, too. Back up to get the food! I asked for my burger a la carte so that I could easily carry it back to Beth. They gave me fries anyway. Oh well. Jessica is upstairs with me, I just remembered. Maybe I didn't run into her until I went back to get the burger. Like I said... fuzzy. So I grab the plate and turn around to head back down to our spot, and hey! There's the lead guitarist for King Zero! He has seriously got these watery green eyes that are totally dreamy. I tell him that I liked the band. He accepts graciously. I offer him a french fry. This too, he accepts graciously.

Walking through a Level Red crowd with a gigantic plate full of french fries is an odd skill to have. But apparently, I have it. I make it back to the Pillar of Fire (entrust is still playing) and Beth and I devour that hamburger like we hadn't eaten in days. Oh hey! It's Jordan and Danny! If they arrived before I showed up with the hamburger, I apologize. But I KNOW they were there by that time. Danny is really cute, by the way. I think when we flirt with Danny, it weirds Jordan out. Which... I can see that.

Entrust finishes. Yay. They were good. I decide, I'd better go to the bathroom because I will not a) miss Bowling for Soup or b) be uncomfortable during their show. So I better go now. I get up to the bathrooms and there is this huge guy. Like he looks like he gets cast as the burly biker man in movies kind of huge. And he's standing right outside the women's bathroom. Someone opens the door and he says, "Hey, it's not fair! You guys get a couch!" I point into the men's bathroom (across the hall) and I say, "Hey no fair! You guys get a TV!" He observes said TV, a smidge of sputtering ensues and before he can turn back around, I was gone. Surprisingly, there is barely a line in the ladies' room so I'm in and out in a flash. Crowd is at Level Red. Big time. I come out of the bathroom, and I run into this guy (literally) who is maybe 2 inches taller than I am, but built like a linebacker. Completely solid. I would not want to make him angry. He's all, "I'm so sorry..." I say, "Are you kidding me? You're my way through this crowd!" Totally joking, of course. By this point, we get to the top of the stairs and he turns to me and says, "Where ya going?" And I point to the pillar, "All the way down by the stage right in front of that pillar." Without a word, he turns and pretty much barrells a path right through the crowd for me. I'm serious. He delivered me right to our spot. I couldn't believe it! How completely nice/awesome!!! I gave him a kiss on the cheek and thanked him. He was very sweet and just said, "No problem" and he was gone. There's nothing funny about it. Just a bunch of freakin awesomeness.

And then! Bowling for Soup! WOOOOOO!!!!! There was a lot of woo-ing going on. Even before they came on. So we get acquainted with the people behind us (because we were in the very front nyah nyah). We have a Randy Jackson-look-alike named Wayne right behind me n Jessica who totally blocked the rest of the crowd and then behind Beth and Jordan is this group of people. There's about 5 of them, I think, but I only talked to two of them. One was a woman who said it was her 35th birthday but totally didn't look 35 so go her. And the other was a guy who was wearing a white shirt with a green stripe and he was about my age. Hard to tell when you're on your second beer bucket.

And then they came out and rocked our faces off. They started off with My Hometown which is a total shout out to Jessica and me because we ARE from their hometown and we DID get the fuck out! And then they proceeded to play all of my favorite songs, but I can't remember the order but there was Belgium, Scope (I think?), Ohio, The Bitch Song (my very very favorite), like, all in a row. That was a massive run-on sentence and I apologize in case you care. So then Jaret's all, "What song do you guys want to hear?" And I was honestly stumped. I wish you could've seen my face as I tried to concentrate really hard. And then someone shouted out Summer of 69 which they do completely fucking awesome. I say fuck a lot when I talk about Bowling for Soup. Sorry if that offends you but yeah whatever. Anyway, I love the BFS version even more than Bryan Adams's version. I hope all of my Canadian brethren can forgive me for that. Anyway, Jaret's like, "You don't want to hear one of OUR songs?" Well, dude, what do you expect? You just played 5 awesome songs in a row. We're having a low-grade orgasm right about now, give us some time to think, OK? So anyway, he "claims" that they hadn't played it in a long time and "claims" that they're going to suck and then asks that we "forgive them" when the song is over. Whatever. They totally rocked. I'm serious, they cannot have a bad show. Period. Ever. I've been going to see them for 10 years now and have never been to even a mediocre show. And there was even that one time that me n OTA went to see them in Fort Worth at the Aardvark and there was no fucking air conditioning and it was fucking August and it was so crowded that I fucking gave up on getting beer. I GAVE UP! ON GETTING BEER!!! That's hot, y'all. Ahem. Where was I? Oh yeah. That show was amazing. And this one? OK, this one on Friday was the first time in a long time that the show has been 21 and up. So you know what was back? DEBAUCHERY! Beer breaks and boob showings. We were kind of wondering what happened to the kamikaze shots, though. Hm. Work on that for us. OK, and throughout this whole thing, I must add that there was a lot of ass-grabbing amongst our little portion of the crowd. I think it was mostly me, though. Jordan got a grab, Tall Pink Cowboy Shirt guy got about 5 grabs from me (and it was really nice and he deserved every single one for standing in front of us short people), and mine got grabbed about 12 times by White Shirt Guy. And not just little grabs. Yeah. What you're thinking? Yeah.

Anyway, they wrapped up with Punk Rock 101, Girl all the Bad Guys Want, and 1985 all in a row. I can't remember what they did for an encore but it was awesome. I remember that much. And after that, it was over. *sad face* And we stayed right where we had all night while the crowd cleared out. Then something marvelous happened. I have no idea how or why, but Beth like... jumped on me to give me a hug or something? It was very joyous and all, but the next thing I know, we're on the ground laughing our asses off and my hand could possibly be injured and Beth is soaking wet. There was also a destroyed beer bucket very nearby. I think that maybe this is where my huge mystery bruise on my arm came from, but I really cannot confirm that.

After that there were some bathroom visits and some Danny location and then we exited the building through the door that I'm pretty sure we weren't supposed to exit out of since it led right up to the buses. But no one stopped us and Beth knows like, everyone so it was cool. So I get to re-meet Chris (guitar player) and Edo (sound guy) who said he remembered me, but I'm pretty sure is a huge liar, but that's OK because he probably meets a lot of people and we were both pretty trashed when we met the first time. Surprise! And then I saw Annique! ANNIIIIIQUE!!! Annique is engaged to Gary who is the drummer and they both went to high school with Jessica (do you need a chart or diagram to get this straight?). This babe is so rad. Someone mentions that Jordan wants to be a drummer so Annique hops on the bus and gets Gary and he comes out and takes pictures with Jordan and they talk drummer talk. Gary is quite possibly the nicest rock star I have ever met. I don't know how else to put it.

We then depart.

I woke up Saturday to an alarming charlie horse in my leg. And then I un-velcroed my tongue from the top of my mouth. And then I noticed my pounding head. I grab my head and smile and think.... "That was AWESOME!" My hand's a little stiff and I still have this mystery bruise on my forearm that's actually pretty big. And it was all worth it and I had a total blast. They'll be back September 8th in Denton. WOOHOO!!! I can't wait!

The End! Kiss Kiss!

Oh! PS!!! Here's a picture I took with my phone.... Look how fucking close we are!!!