TV Rocks My Face

Y'all, I cannot remember TV ever being so good all at the same time.

First up: The Unscripteds. American Idol? Even the sucky ones are really good. Survivor? Interesting! Amazing Race? Phenomenal! I think that last season was sub-par for all three of those shows. I mean... Jasmine Trias, y'all. And Survivor was so predictable and lame (Goal #1: Vote off pretty people. Goal #2: Vote off men. Goal #3: Bitch and backstab. Yadda yadda yadda). And The Amazing Race featured some of the ugliest Americans ever displayed on national television (politicians notwithstanding). But this year! Everything is shiny and new! American Idol is actually still a mystery! Survivor is new and unbalanced!

The Amazing Race has some of the most interesting and unpredictable cast members in all of unscripted history (or the parts that I've seen anyway). And last night's two-hour special totally blew me away. I am serious. It didn't even feel like two hours (would've felt like four if Patrick was still there with his bitching and nyah nyah nyah). Exciting in good and bad ways what with the head injury and the rollover being the bad, obviously. I cringed when Rob and Amber drove past the wreck. They could've slowed down and asked if everyone was OK at the very least. Now, it's easy to say this knowing everyone is OK, but in their (very weak) defense, most of the other teams hate them anyway so it wouldn't matter if they stopped or not... they will still be hated, good deeds or no. And honestly, Lynn and Alex weren't really doing anything except getting in the way especially after the brothers told them to leave. Like I said, easy to say knowing no one was seriously hurt. But that foot race at the end??? Hoo-doggy! I was up off the couch holding my breath! I sooooo wanted Ray off the show. Deana seemed OK if not a little beaten down by her "on again off again" "boyfriend." (And by "boyfriend" I really mean "mean assface jerk.") I'd be a lot beaten down if all I ever heard was that I'm not trying hard enough, I'm not good enough, I don't want it bad enough. How about a little positive feedback every once in a while, hm? He's a jerk and I hope she dumps him. Buttface. So... go Brothers! And go GnM! Man, for them to pull through from last place with no money and no backpacks up to fifth? Amazing indeed. Go Old People! Woo! Gretchen is my new hero even though she's kinda squeaky. =)

Next up: The Scripteds. OK, you all know that 24 is my favorite. It's hard to guage this season against the other three since, you know, this season isn't finished yet. It will be hard to top Season Two. But here's what I think is so awesome about this season: there was no pre-season spoiler. Season One, we knew it was all about an assassination attempt on a Presidential candidate. Season Two, we knew it was all about a nuc-yoo-ler B-O-M-B. Season Three, it was all about biological warfare. Season Four is about..... um...... well, we don't really know what it's about yet. Terrorists on our soil? Welcome to Seasons One through Three. They're all about terrorists (hence the Counter-TERRORIST Unit?). But we don't know the motivation behind this attack. And if I were to speculate (and you know I will), I would say that Marwan is not the "real" boss. They always take us topsy-turvy and who we think is the boss is really someone else's bitch.... but whose? But on the other hand, the season's already over halfway done and still no sign of a bigger boss than Marwan. So maybe the writers are totally effing with us... as they love to do. And do we love them for it? Oh, I think we do.

And Veronica Mars? The mystery! The intrigue! Whodunnit??? It's starting to look like Celeste killed Lilly what with the showing up at the hotel all messed up right after (or before, depending on whose story you believe) Lilly was murdered, but.... Seriously, would a show like this give away the solution to the main, season-long murder mystery with six episodes to go? I think not! I want to put the puzzle together, but honestly, I don't think we have all the pieces yet. And I don't think that Duncan and Veronica are half-siblings because that would be uber-creepy. But it's probably a vital plot device as evidenced by last night's episode (i.e. Veronica's mom threatening Jake with a paternity test). Man. I need a diagram or a flow chart or a nap or something.

OK, and Lost... the Island giveth and the Island taketh away. I think that is the best way to sum up tonight's episode. Although.... did we get any real clues tonight? I mean, there was the Nigerian "priest" and his heroin (Charlie is going to be pissed when he finds out he didn't really have to give it up) and of course, the airplane with the freakin WORKING RADIO! I mean, the stupid previews gave that away, but still. Do you guys think that Boone is the major cast character to bite it? I hope not. He's F-I-N-E! But hey, someone's gotta go and I doubt it'll be any of the ugly castaways. Are there any ugly castaways? Anyway. I didn't get a good look at his massive chest wound, but apparently, we'll get more info on that next week. But man, was Locke's dream creepy as hell or what? The way everything kept coming true what with the plane and Theresa and bloody Boone? Man, what is with that guy? And at the end when he was seriously pissed at the Island (as he should be... he put his faith into it and it took his son-figure... possibly) and he was yelling into the hatch thingy and then THE FREAKIN LIGHT CAME ON!!!!! My apartment just became totally still and silent except for one little word that eeked out... "Pardon?" What a way to end the show. Total freakin cliffhanger and three quarters. I am totally blown away.

Oh, and I caught the series premier of Eyes tonight. Tim Daly really is getting hotter as he gets older. And man, they really pulled you in in the first episode, did they not? Set you up for a multi-episode arc (arcs possibly?) as well as solved a single episode arc. It's all about the arcs, y'all. Looks good from first view. What with all the murder and sex and intrigue. Wordup. I diggit.

This really is one of the best parts of the TV viewing season. Right when everyone is coming off of reruns after February sweeps and setting up for the big May sweeps. And they're also cutting the crappy shows or putting some that they thought would get crappy ratings on hiatus to test out some new shows for mid-season replacements.

Oh, and American Idol finale is up against the Lost finale. Both two hours long. May 25th. Set your alarms and VCR and/or DVRs and take your meds.

Goooooooooooood Night!