The Peanut Gallery Needs to Shut It

I heard something hilarious this weekend. Not hilarious "ha ha" but more like hilarious "you've got to be kidding me." You see, Brad and I were talking about an encounter he had (not like that, you pervs) with one certain friend that also happens to be good friends with CK. Apparently the friend (let's call her M) had asked quite politely how I was. Brad mentioned that I'm doing fine and blah blah blah. And then she says, "I hear she's still hung up on [CK]." See, now that's hilarious for a few reasons. One, I have not spoken with this girl in months. Two, I have not even spoken to CK since before the Mingo Fishtrap concert. Three, I'm so not hung up on him. So tell me, how does it get around that I'm still hung up on him?

OK, let's start with the last time I spoke with him a couple of weeks ago. The week before the concert, I decided I could at least let him know about it because I knew that he liked the band and had gone to see them a few times. So I text messaged him about it and he said he'd like to go so he asked where. I text messaged him back giving the info and he sent me back a very enthusiastic "K." So the Friday before the concert, I stop by his table and ask him if he still plans to go. He turns around and looks at me like I have an anvil stuck to the side of my head and slurs out "Nope." Well, this kind of surprises me because I thought he really liked them and would go. And then it occurred to me that he might not be going because I'm going and if that's the case then he kind of sucks and needs better reasons for not going to see the most funnerest band around. So I ask him why. "I'm just not. I was drunk last weekend and I didn't mean it when I said I would go." I try to get a little more info out of him: "Is it because it's in Fort Worth? I thought you liked Fort Worth. You've gone for less." He thinks about that for a millisecond and says, "Yeah. I have. And I probably will again. I'm just not going tomorrow night." I try the simple route: "Why?" And he does, as well, "Because." At that point, I just leave. I don't get huffy or mad, I just leave because there's no use in any of this. That was it. That was two weeks ago.

So now I have to wonder: Is M just making drama? Or has CK really been telling his friends how hung up on him I am? Because what part of utterly ignoring someone shouts from the rooftops, "I'm like, soooo into you!"? Now he may think that I'm just being pissy with him because he backed out of the concert. That is totally not true. I'm keeping my distance from him because he has proven beyond any doubt that he is not a friend to me. He came up to me about a month ago (I know, shocker, but Emily was there and I'm sure he was sucking up to her so she'd put a good word in with her friend Amanda) and he said, "You are always so nice to me. I'm a total jackass to you and you're always completely nice. Why do you do that?" I told him that he's not an ass, he just pretends to be for whatever convoluted reason, which I still think is true. And then I mentioned to him that if he knows that he's being an ass to someone who's nice, maybe he should... oh I don't know... be nice back? And as I thought about it more and more, it started to really get to me. Why AM I so nice to this guy? If any of my friends treated me like he does, we would NOT be friends any more. He has embarrassed me numerous times without any kind of remorse therefore I can't trust him with any kind of information. He has asked me to keep information about him to myself before and I have. I guess he forgot about all that.

I guess I still care about him. Wouldn't want him to get his arm taken off by a rabid dog or anything. I just can't trust him. Not the kind of trust that you have with someone who doesn't lie to you. I don't think he's a liar. He'll just be quiet before he outright lies to you. I'm talking about the trust you have that someone will not hurt you. And he has hurt me so much and not given a damn about any of it. That is not a friend.

So I guess we come to the last aspect of the hilarity that has ensued. Why in the world do these people even care? If CK does not give a damn about me, why is he going around telling people that I'm still hung up on him? He runs at the mere mention of the word "feelings," so how would he know how I feel? Maybe he just likes to show how adored he is. And why does M feel the need to even think about it for more than 2 seconds? How does this affect her in the least? Shouldn't this be between CK and me? And my very favorite: No one has asked me how I feel about the guy and I have not volunteered any information. Not to Brad, not even to Jessica. Because (this post notwithstanding) I haven't really given him much thought since our last conversation. That night I was more mystified than angry with him and after that, it became clear that we're not friends, so it's been pretty easy to not talk to him since he makes like, zero effort to talk to me. I don't expect any grand gestures. But a simple hello, how are you would be nice. I won't hold my breath.