I hope you're not expecting something specific.

April 18, 2005

OK, so NASCAR didn't really ruin my weekend. It didn't exactly do me any favors though, I can tell you that much. First of all, you should know that Jessica had a very bad week last week. Nobody died or anything, but some not good stuff happened, so please send her your good vibes. She needs them very badly. And possibly a vacation. Yes, she definitely needs that too.

Saturday: Jess and I agree to meet at the bar "early." Like, at 8. She calls me at 7 and informs me that she's not going to make it at 8 so we should shoot for later. I tell her that that's a good thing because I was just then on my way home from the mall (where else?) and wouldn't make it either, so it was a good thing. So I show up at 9 and say hi to everyone. I catch Brad and he points over to a table where Jessica was sitting. I wave goofily and Brad says, "I think she's mad at me." I say, "Wha? Why?" He's all, "I don't know...just got a weird vibe." I sigh and say, "She's had a hard week. It's not all about you, y'know. Narcissist." Hehehe. Then he tried to convince me that he was not a narcissist, but in fact a megalomaniac which... OK, I'll buy that.

So anyway. I have a seat with Jessica and no sooner had I had a sip out of my beer than her phone rings. "What? Where? How come I didn't get an invite! OK, where is it. Mm hm. Left on [whatever road]?" I recognize [whatever road] from a subdivision that I addressed and was all, "Why are you getting directions to [name of subdivision]?" Jess, "Nick's having a party." Me, "Oh cool! Let's go! When?" Jess, "Uh....right now?" Me, "Huh?! Why didn't you get an invitation?" Jess, "She said I did! But it probably went to the wrong account." Ooooooooh. Well, anyway. So we decide to go but come back to the bar later. 1) It gives us an out at the party and 2) If we didn't come back, ah who cares? So anyway. We decide that we had to leave RIGHT THEN (9:15) or we wouldn't be back by 11:00, in time for us to have any sort of good times at the bar. Well, by my calculations, it would take us about 45 minutes to get out to Nick's. Yeah, do the math on that one. But you know what? Who cares. It's Saturday night and we can do whatever we want with plans or without. So I gave my beer away and we head out. Jessica decides that it'd be nice of us to stop and get a six-pack to contribute to the party. Shouldn't show up empty-handed and all. So we wait until we get just outside of town on a certain cross-country US highway and we stop at a sizable gas station. It is buzzing about with travellers, you can tell. So I go one way to pick out some beer and Jessica goes the other way to pick out a soda. After some excitement with flat vs. domed lids, we both approach the cashier. Now in case you don't know what Jessica looks like, she is Korean and Black. Very exotic looking and dark. I am so White that I could possibly be a light source all on my own. So the cashier asks for Jessica's ID, inspects it, looks at her, and hands back the ID. Then she looks at me and asks for mine too. I pause and look at her with a straight face and say, "Well, we're sisters." And she kind of looks sideways like, well I still want your ID bitch. Then I give that "Oh I'm just kidding, we're not sisters, it's right here!" laugh and hand over the ID. She laughs and says, "Y'all are lucky. I look just like all of my sisters and brothers!" Wha? Did she just believe me??? I mean, I know that everyone's family is different, but..... Hee!

We get to the party and immediately see Nick, who is a tall good looking man. Then he introduces us to his roommate and HELLO JIM! Muh....rrrrrrrrrrowr! I'm sure he gets that dumbfounded "Whoa you're hot" reaction a lot. Hope I didn't drool on his hand while I was shaking it. Anyway! Then we saw Katie Holmes (not that one!) and her boyfriend S-E-A-N and then we stood in the kitchen and talked and had fun and then we decided to go because we knew Nick, Katie, S-E-A-N, Barry, his fiance, and.... that was about it. I mean, everyone was really nice and all but Jim was talking to these other girls and didn't seem interested in tearing my clothes off that very instant, so I figure what's the loss? Turns out, Jessica thinking the same thing about Jim, which is strange because we have incredibly differing tastes in men (which is a very good thing). So that just goes to show how incredibly hot he was (and I'm sure still is). So our good-byes were swift and well-timed. We stepped out just before the card games started.

Time of arrival back at the bar? 10:59. We are sooooo good! Well, Jessica is good. She was driving. So anyway. We played trivia. We got hit on by some strange man named Ron(nuh nuh nuh) who tipped Jessica just for being cool. No I'm serious. He gave her 2 dollars for being awesome. I was ignoring him, so I guess I missed out. And then NASCAR ruined my weekend, but I'm not telling you how. Not specifically, anyway. Haaaahahaha I'm so mean.

Sunday: We had our annual 9-1-1 picnic for our 9-1-1 dispatchers and their families. It's always a ton of fun, but utterly exhausting. It's like normal work, but instead of sitting at a desk in a controlled environment, there are a ton of people and the chasing of small children and many things to do! It was a gorgeous day. We could not have begged and pleaded for a nicer day. Except maybe.... for no NASCAR. We had a banquet hall for the eating and the Cher performance (yes, I said Cher) and of course there was a TV and wouldn't you know what was on? I would go in there to rest while Gabi played on the merry-go-round for the 487th time and I just tried to read what was on the racetrack wall. Texas Motor Speedway, Fort Worth, Denton County, Texas Motor Speedway..... very hypnotic. And also the white noise and the metronomic "vvvvvvvvvVVVVVYOOOMMmmmmmm" will put you right out. Good thing I was sitting on a rickety old bench that felt like it could come crashing down any second. That'll keep ya awake. Also? Water balloon tosses. Those will also keep you awake. Chasing your insane five year old? Awake! Watching two performances by a dead-on Cher impersonator? Also awake! Aside from being a great Cher impersonator, she was also an incredibly nice person. I hope the real Cher is that nice.

Anwyay! So as soon as we got home, I gave Gabi a bath because I'm not sure she was clean anywhere. Then I sat down on the couch to watch some TV and realized that I'm not smelling like a rose myself so I took the best, hottest, lime and gingerest shower ever! It felt so good. So good that I almost immediately passed out from the pleasure. But I still had to put Gabi to bed and watch a little TV to wind down. But I guarantee you I was not awake more than 2 minutes after hitting that pillow. And I woke up in the morning in the exact same position; went in to wake Gabi up: also in the exact same position. We were OUT! You know how sometimes you wake up and your body's kinda sore but you don't know if it's because you ran around all day the day before or if it's because you slept so hard that night? Yeah, that was this morning. It's a good kind of sore. Only one kind of sore beats that kind of sore. Hee!

And today was kind of a blur for all of us. Everyone was beat and we had to do some post-picnic sorting and putting away of picnic stuff and they even let us take some of the leftover goodies (yay goodies!). So if anyone needs a bright green 9-1-1 antenna ball, you just let me know! Not really. I have no idea how I'd mail one of those things and I don't particularly feel like finding out. =)

OK, well that was my weekend. It was good times and I hope yours was good too. And you know what? There's another one in like.... FOUR DAYS!!! Awesome. Hope you have a good week and maybe I'll have some rad TV to yap endlessly about in a couple of days. Like.... 24!!!! yes, I saw it tonight but I'm not going to talk about it out of respect for our dear DVR friends. But I can't wait forever, dear DVR friends. So get on it! K? K. Tomorrow: Amazing Race, American Idol, Scrubs, Office, Veronica Freakin Mars..... Tuesdays are so wonderfully exhausting.

Good night dear readers! Oh, and one more thing. If you live outside the US or Canada and you are patient enough to get this far, could you pretty please leave me a comment so I can see who's really stopping by? I'm really curious and positively dying to be big in Belgium.

40 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn, and I was just saying to myself the other day "self, we need to get a big green antenna ball... but alas, who would have such a thing?"

Your weekend rocked the crap outta mine. I went on a Cannonball Run style road trip of about 1400 miles. Highlights include nearly getting run over by a trailer, a flaming gas station and the worst fucking Wendys to ever blight the earth... luckily my weekend had no Dom DeLuise, so it wasn't a total wash.

Big in Belgium is small potatoes. Everything's easy when you're big in Japan.

~Otak, whose size in various nations, while constant, isn't polite to mention in mixed company.

1:12 AM

 
Blogger Ryan said...

No NASCAR explanation?! =D I'm not sure I've mentioned it, but for me watching NASCAR is like being shot at by guns. I do not appreciate it in the least. Plus, this Jeff Gordon dude is hell of getting on my nerves.

6:16 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

jeff gordon wears tag heuer watches and really loves dupont for some reason. strange fellow. anyways, ashton kutcher is only the new justin timberlake because poor justin fell off the face of the planet. but in other news, i'm sure you're worthy of your own "rawr" di :).

12:25 PM

 
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Blogger Stewed Hamm said...

I'm sure jing's dead-on about Di's rawr-ness... if only she'd share the wealth! ;)

12:07 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

man that anonymous is really addicted to you di, i mean sometimes they'd comment again a minute after commenting. now that's dedication. or stalking. you know, either or :). well the good news is, i've finally watched monday's 24 so you can talk about it now.

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