My Evening

~ Pick up Gabi from day care. She is in a good mood and asks to eat at Angelina's.

~ Considering I just got paid today, agree to dinner at Angelina's.

~ Consume fajitas with my little lady.

~ Child requests dessert.

~ She is denied.

~ Child bats eyelashes and insists that she can "hypnotize me with [her] cute."

~ Order flan for dessert for my sweet baby since they are fresh out of sopapillas.

~ Make mental note that ankle-biter does not like flan, even if it is four bucks.

~ Visit grocery store to purchase milk for munchkin and DOUBLE ROLL toilet paper since I bought single roll last time and am completely fed up with changing roll every four hours.

~ Remember commercial for Veet wax set. Recall use of the word "comfort" in title and decide that it doesn't sound so bad.

~ Add to basket new Kindergarten workbook for the little princess, My Little Pony Memory game, and newest issue of D Magazine.

~ Check out and purchase 5 lottery tickets (2 Cash 5, 3 Texas Lottery). Inform child that if we win, we will totally go to Six Flags.

~ Go back to apartment complex and check mail. Insert mail into shopping bag not containing milk.

~ Go home and view last night's Dancing with the Stars while setting up My Little Pony Memory game.

~ Vow to watch Strictly Ballroom more often.

~ After Dancing with the Stars is finished, view Hit Me Baby One More Time while playing My Little Pony Memory game.

~ Halfway through HMBOMT, beat five year old at My Little Pony Memory game. Try not to rub it in.

~ Decide to open mail on commercial break.

~ Open unmarked envelope to find tickets to Pat Benatar on July 9th.

~ Show Gabi and scream and act like an idiot for oh, about five minutes.

~ Order half pint into shower.

~ Read Veet box while listening to rugrat sing Kelly Clarkson songs in the shower.

~ After shrimpboat finishes shower, help dry hair and comb out. Put into braid to prevent tangles.

~ Help with first couple of pages of Kindergarten work book.

~ Carry baby girl to bed and pat the royal back until she is relaxed and ready to sleep.

~ Bid baby a good night and sweet dreams.

~ Decide that waxing tonight would be better than trying tomorrow night, just in case further hair removal procedures will be necessary 24 hours after initial removal (common procedure for hair removal tactics).

~ Carefully read instructions and begin to wax legs.

~ Realize that counting to three and taking a deep breath assists in rapid removal of wax strips.

~ Marvel at removed hairs in used wax strip.

~ Utilize wax removal cloth included in set. Note that only one such cloth was included in set.

~ Decide that bikini line could use some attention.

~ Cut regular wax strip in half.

~ Apply 1/2 wax strip to right side of bikini line.

~ Remind self that children have been birthed and this will be no big deal and over much faster.

~ Attempt to remove wax strip.

~ Remember that there were a lot of drugs involved in birthing child.

~ Decide to slowly remove wax strip so as not to rip out any more hair.

~ Reach for wax removal cloth and realize that all magical wax removing properties are now gone.

~ Consult box. It says to use cotton ball dipped in oil to remove wax after magical cloth has used up all of its magic.

~ Search bathroom for baby oil. Remember getting unfathomable amounts at baby showers six years ago and insist that there must be some somewhere in house.

~ Accept defeat in battle for baby oil.

~ Remember purchase of Crisco a few months ago.

~ Dip cotton pad in Crisco and apply to my very violated bikini line.

~ Cotton sticks to wax.

~ Apply more oil.

~ Roll up cotton and remove wax.

~ Use washcloth to apply more oil.

~ Note wax-free bikini line.

~ Apologize profusely to right side of bikini line.

~ Realize I have half of a wax strip left over.

~ Decide to wax left side of bikini line utilizing lessons learned from right side debacle.

~ Apply wax strip much more carefully.

~ Count to three and take deep breath.

~ Count to three and take deep breath.

~ Count to three and take deep breath while removing wax strip.

~ Make mental note to never ever apply wax to bikini line ever again. Stick to chemicals next time.

~ Apply Crisco and remove wax.

~ Get dressed and think about how lucky some man would be to have me right about now. All oiled up: tasty and flammable.

~ Decide that a glass of wine is most certainly in order.

~ Read label on wine. McWilliam's Merlot, South Eastern Australia, 2003 trophy at Sydney Wine Show.

~ Locate corkscrew.

~ Curse entire nation of Australia for making its wine bottles so bloody difficult to open.

~ Get wine bottle open.

~ Continue to curse entire nation of Australia for existence of CK.

~ Drink glass of wine while writing blog.

~ Note pleasing anesthetic effect of wine.

~ Consider letter writing campaign to Veet complaining of false advertising for using word "comfort" in title of product.

~ Pour new glass and publish blog containing horrific details of evening.