Is there no suffering on Survivor any more?

Chocolate cake? Cheese and crackers? Fruit and coffee makers? Do you guys remember Survivor Outback? There was RICE! Only RICE! And my boyfriend Colby had to give up his Texas flag to get MORE RICE! So they didn't DIE!!! And dudes, do you guys remember Survivor Africa? They had to build a fortress to keep out the lions. That wanted to eat them! This season, the most deadly predator is Ami! No wonder I skipped Seasons 4-8 (unless All-Stars counted as 8, in which case I skipped 4-7. All Stars sucked me back in. And suck it did. Except for Colby. Mmmm Colby. )

Seems like the only person suffering is Rory. "I'm so tired of having female conversations." Haaaaaahahahaha! Hilarious. Also hilarious? Sarge saying that he didn't mind baring his ass because he'd been to Europe! And Ami??? A good attitude??? Are you SERIOUS???

Chad should've been gone a long time ago. Scout should be gone. And Lianne should be gone. Useless.

*Spoiler if you haven't watched it!*
I was truly shocked at the outcome. I really thought it would go the opposite way that it did. Now the guys know that Julie and Twila cannot be trusted as you could tell by the disgust on the guys' faces. I really wanted Ami to go. Actually, I wanted Lianne to go. USELESS! But I'll miss Rory and his maverick attitude. He was cool even though he was kind of a whiner.

Cutest thing ever: after Survivor, Gabi had to get in the bath. And now she's playing Survivor. Challenges, immunities, tribe has spoken, the whole thing.

Apprentice! I think this is the first entertaining episode of the season. And Trump's hair looks even worse in sunlight. And Ivana? USELESS! I love Jennifer. She's my favorite chick.

Gabi on Trump after he tells Bradford and Stacie to leave: He didn't even say please! He's the boss of them. Does he think he's the boss of the world?

*Spoiler* (Assuming that I'm not the only one watching)
Boooo on Raj getting fired! I hated him at the beginning of the season. But Ivana shoulda been gone a long time ago. Useless! Way to ask for Robin's phone number!! Ha! Priceless.

ER! DARLEEEENE!

Oh and I'd like to take this time to apologize for my election night "coverage." I had the intent of updating every half hour but....I got really distracted. Did I already apologize for this? I forgot to go back and check. Oh well, apologizing twice is better than just leaving it on an Al Sharpton comment and never looking back.
News: Listen. If you haven't actually caught the bank robbers? It's not breaking news!

Whoa. Wanna hear something kooky? I have to think about how to say this in a discreet manner...We were asked to check on something at work today. Verify an address for someone. Six hours later? Up in flames. Like, a lot of flames. In the wise words of Bill: Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

I wish I could comment on the other two "breaking stories" they were working on for us tonight, but I was freaking out so much about story #2 that I didn't see the rest. Not to mention that the co-parent called with his two cents on the above mentioned flame-fest. Weeeeeeeeeeird!

And as the news was signing off, they mention that it had been repossessed recently. Well, I guess it's not so weird any more, is it? Still. I wonder what the circumstances were surrounding the inquiry our office had. Guess I'll find out tomorrow!

I love that Victoria's Secret commercial where Tyra Banks acts surprised that she has boobs. Shut up, Tyra Banks.